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when in Stratford-upon-Avon, U.K., I stay at
Adelphi Guest House




cinemastrology Wed Apr 05 06, 3:44PM

cinemastrology: cinemascopes for the week of 04.06-04.12

Here are the ten signs of cinemastrology, and -- according to my informer -- what counsel members of each sign have received for the coming week:

il rosa della bussola (sign of the compass rose): Get everything in writing, unless you’ve got compromising photographs... which you should, if you’re anything worth crowing about. Someone near you is paying more attention that you think.

il chicco di caffè (sign of the coffee bean): Oh, with a seemingly casual sigh of boredom you can shift mountains. You are underestimated and ignored, and yet, if they knew what power you can wield, they’d be more careful. When the phone rings at 2am on Saturday night, don’t answer.

il coltello da formaggio (sign of the cheese knife): No one cares to hear your complaints; this is a simple, sad fact of your position. And yet you are expected to endure the complaints of others with grace. Take notes -- you’ll find them useful later.

il libro dimenticato (sign of the forgotten book): Some say you must not plot for success -- others say it is the only way. There is a middle ground between spontaneity and organization, but only you can find it. Obey the demigods at your own peril.

il gnocchi avanzi (sign of the leftover potato dumpling): Try the highlights -- a change of look can help, if you mind not to get too self-consciously trendy. You are valued -- and valuable -- for how you stand out from the crowd, not for how you blend in.

il pressa enologic (sign of the wine press): Drunkenness can be pleasant, but when you indulge everyday... well, then you’re happy ever day, aren’t you? Don’t listen to the naysayers -- when were they any fun, anyway?

il pugnale avvelenata (sign of the poisoned dagger): Never again! The ingrates are going to jump ship no matter what you do, so take this last opportunity to twist the knife. It feels so good, doesn’t it?

il ratto nero infetto con peste (sign of the plague-infected black rat): You will meet a woman in red, and she will lead you down a path you never could have imagined for yourself. But beware: she is more like you, too, than you could have imagined. And you know how dangerous you are.

il monarca lieto (sign of the joyful king): Let them laugh. IN fact, invite them to make fun of you -- it only results in more attention thrown your way, which is exactly what you want. Silence is a treasure to be spent.

il pittore pazzo (sign of the mad painter): Death is everywhere, but you live on. Why? Have you contemplated the infinite, and your place in it? Wonders never cease, and purple is the way. When you think you’re done for, think again.

(catch up with the unfolding story of cinemastrology here)

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who I am


I'm MaryAnn Johanson: writer and ponderer in New York City who drinks too much wine and thinks way too much about such inconsequences as movies, TV, books, and the meaning of life.
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• read my Doctor Who fan fiction

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member, Alliance of Women Film Journalists

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recent screenings and hot movies

just opened (U.S.)
red for no The Twilight Saga: New Moon
yellow for maybe Planet 51
not viewed by me The Blind Side [trailer]
not viewed by me Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans [trailer]
yellow for maybe Broken Embraces
green for go Red Cliff [trailer]
yellow for maybe The Missing Person [trailer]
green for go Precious (expanding)
green for go Fantastic Mr. Fox (expanding)
just opened (U.K.)
red for no The Twilight Saga: New Moon
green for go A Serious Man
green for go The Informant!
box office top 5 (U.S.)
yellow for maybe 2012
red for no A Christmas Carol
green for go Precious
green for go The Men Who Stare at Goats
yellow for maybe Michael Jackson's This Is It
top limited releases (U.S.)
green for go Precious
red for no The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
green for go An Education
green for go A Serious Man
yellow for maybe Coco Before Chanel
box office top 5 (U.K.)
yellow for maybe 2012
red for no A Christmas Carol
not viewed by me Harry Brown
green for go Up
green for go The Men Who Stare at Goats
coming soon (U.S./U.K.)
red for no The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond
yellow for maybe Serious Moonlight [trailer]
yellow for maybe A Single Man [trailer]
green for go Everybody's Fine [trailer]
red for no The Strip
green for go The Private Lives of Pippa Lee [trailer]
green for go The Young Victoria [trailer]
green for go Creation [trailer]
green for go The Road [trailer]
green for go The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus [trailer]
other current flicks (U.S./U.K.)
green for go Amelia
red for no Antichrist [trailer]
red for no Astro Boy
yellow for maybe The Box
green for go The Boys Are Back
green for go Bright Star
green for go Capitalism: A Love Story [trailer]
yellow for maybe Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
yellow for maybe Collapse
red for no Couples Retreat
green for go Creation [trailer]
green for go The Damned United
green for go An Education
green for go Five Minutes of Heaven
yellow for maybe The Fourth Kind
red for no Gentlemen Broncos [trailer]
green for go The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus [trailer]
green for go The Invention of Lying
red for no Jennifer's Body
green for go The Messenger [trailer]
green for go Ong Bak 2: The Beginning
yellow for maybe Paranormal Activity
red for no Pirate Radio (aka The Boat That Rocked)
yellow for maybe A Single Man [trailer]
yellow for maybe Where the Wild Things Are
red for no Whiteout
red for no Women in Trouble
green for go Zombieland

2009 screening log

new on dvd

11.17 (Region 1)
green for go Star Trek [buy]
green for go Humpday [buy]
green for go Bruno [buy]
green for go Is Anybody There? [buy]
yellow for maybe The Limits of Control [buy]
yellow for maybe My Sister's Keeper [buy]
yellow for maybe How to Be [buy]
green for go Farscape: The Complete Series [buy]
green for go Gone with the Wind: 70th Anniversary Ultimate Collector's Edition [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.S.)

11.16 (Region 2)
green for go Star Trek [buy]
green for go Moon [buy]
green for go Sunshine Cleaning [buy]
yellow for maybe Four Christmases [buy]
yellow for maybe Tyson [buy]
green for go An Evening with John Barrowman [buy]
green for go Doctor Who: The Key to Time [buy]
green for go South Park: Christmas Time in South Park [buy]
green for go Star Trek Trilogy [buy]
green for go Star Trek: The Next Generation Movie Collection [buy]
green for go Star Trek: Films 1-10 Remastered Special Edition [buy]
yellow for maybe Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Season 2 [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.K.)

11.10 (Region 1)
green for go Up [buy]
red for no The Ugly Truth [buy]
green for go The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Complete Second Season [buy]
green for go Ink [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.S.)

11.09 (Region 2)
green for go Bruno [buy]
yellow for maybe The Age of Stupid [buy]
red for no Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian [buy]
green for go The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Complete Second Season [buy]
green for go All Creatures Great and Small: Christmas Specials [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.K.)

11.03 (Region 1)
green for go The Taking of Pelham 123 [buy]
green for go Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 [buy]
yellow for maybe Food, Inc. [buy]
red for no G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra [buy]
red for no Aliens in the Attic [buy]
red for no I Love You, Beth Cooper [buy]
green for go North by Northwest (50th Anniversary Edition) [buy]
green for go Doctor Who: The War Games [buy]
green for go Doctor Who: The Black Guardian Trilogy [buy]
green for go National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (Ultimate Collector's Edition) [buy]
green for go Mission: Impossible: Complete Series [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.S.)

11.02 (Region 2)
green for go Public Enemies [buy]
yellow for maybe Last Chance Harvey [buy]
red for no Year One [buy]
red for no Blood: The Last Vampire [buy]
green for go Wallace and Gromit: The Complete Collection [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.K.)

my book (Amazon U.S.)

my book (Amazon U.K.)

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