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cinemastrology Wed Apr 26 06, 4:28PM

cinemastrology signs revealed! Julia, Britney, Paula, and more

Finally, my secret cinemastrology informer comes through with something substantial! This morning I received a list of names along with their cinemastrology signs -- I dug around and found some of what seems to be supporting evidence for their association with their signs. Here goes:


il rosa della bussola
(sign of the compass rose)
Andy Garcia
While the movie [The Lost City], which co-stars Bill Murray and Dustin Hoffman, also wowed audiences at the 2005 Telluride Film Festival, many distributors asked Garcia to trim the picture before they'd consider acquiring it. This he would not do. When he did recut some sequences, he defiantly added 10 seconds to the 143-minute movie. "The movie is what I wanted it to be," Garcia says. "It doesn't fit into the cookie cutter people want it to fit into. It is edited with conviction."


il pittore pazzo
(sign of the mad painter)
Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen attended a kids clothing launch a day after he was barred from seeing his own children by estranged wife Denise Richards.

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il chicco di caffè
(sign of the coffee bean)
Kevin Federline
Aspiring rapper Kevin Federline credits his superstar wife Britney Spears for providing inspiration for his debut album.


il coltello da formaggio
(sign of the cheese knife)
Tony Snow
Tony Snow, the Fox News talking head and [new] White House press secretary, already has a nickname among some members of the Washington press corps: “Max Headroom.”

Mr. Snow, in other words, is wholly a creature of television—the first TV personality to become a lead White House spokesman.

“It’s sort of the obvious elevation of style over substance,” said Julie Mason, a White House correspondent for the Houston Chronicle. “Not that he doesn’t have substance, but they do seem to be going with flash over someone who’s a little wonkier. Usually that’s done in a more sleight-of-hand, subtext way, not like, ‘Here’s a guy with great hair.’”



il libro dimenticato
(sign of the forgotten book)
Jack Bunick
Singer and actress Jennifer Lopez has been sued by a screenwriter who claims she stole his idea for a US TV series.

Jack Bunick alleges that South Beach, a programme on which Lopez is executive producer, is the same as South Beach Miami, a script he wrote in 1999.



il gnocchi avanzi
(sign of the leftover
potato dumpling)
Kevin Costner
Kevin Costner was accused of performing an indecent act as he received a massage at a Scottish hotel, in a claim by a former spa worker filed with a British employment tribunal.


il pressa enologic
(sign of the wine press)
Britney Spears
When seven-month-old Sean toppled out of his high chair and fractured his scalp it wasn't his first fall, an ENQUIRER investigation uncovered. Twice before, the baby has rolled off of the pop princess' bed and crashed to the floor. Doctors say Sean could suffer brain seizures or memory loss for years to come.


il pugnale avvelenata
(sign of the poisoned dagger)
Paula Abdul
Leno asked whether Seacrest was dating Teri Hatcher since the pair had been photographed kissing. “He only kisses the mirror,” said Abdul. “And honestly, do you think Teri Hatcher is that desperate of a housewife?”


il ratto nero infetto con peste
(sign of the plague-infected black rat)
Michelle Rodriguez
After her sentencing, Rodriguez... apologized for her attitude toward police officers the night of her arrest (she allegedly told an officer: “I don’t (expletive) belong here! Why don’t you just put a gun to my head and shoot me!”).


il monarca lieto
(sign of the joyful king)
Julia Roberts
What did she do to get (almost) all the reviewers so riled up? She took a chance, give her credit for that, please... Now this last of the Big Stars, yes, Julia Roberts, the only royalty we have left, walks the streets of Manhattan like a criminal in search of a dark corner. She avoids the news media, her fans, the public, the multitudes that used to adore her. I still do. She is still my pretty woman.


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who I am


I'm MaryAnn Johanson: writer and ponderer in New York City who drinks too much wine and thinks way too much about such inconsequences as movies, TV, books, and the meaning of life.
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