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cinemastrology Wed Apr 19 06, 4:17PM

my cinemastrology predictions: three out of four!

Last week I challenged myself by making a few predictions of celebrity and Hollywood news based upon what the week’s cinemastrology forecasts said. Let’s see how I did:

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I said:

I'm guessing that il libro dimenticato, or "sign of the forgotten book," is the sign of many screenwriters, so I'm gonna say that "Mere idiocy reigns supreme, and you will ride on its coattails" means that some utterly moronic script will sell or be optioned for a ridiculous price this week.

And holy crap, look at this: So You Wanna Sell a Script reports on two script sales this week that certainly sound pretty idiotic. There’s Angus, a dramedy, described thus: “Project will examine a year in the life of a young married couple seen through the eyes of their newly adopted young dog.” (I hear Martin Short as the voice of the dog.) And then there’s my favorite, The Hunt, the “story of the world's greatest hunter, who sets out to capture the ultimate beast: the devil himself.” (I see, oh, Paul Walker as the hunter and probably Sir Ben Kingsley in full-on scenery-chewing mode as the devil.)

I said:

If il rosa della bussola, or "sign of the compass rose," is the one that Hollywood directors identify with, then I wonder if "The most rarefied realms of your desires are achievable, if you do all that is demanded of you, no matter how irrelevant it may seem" means that a big-name director will take on a project that somehow seems beneath him or her?

And I’m thinking this qualifies as a hit, from the Los Angeles Times:

Director John McTiernan pleaded guilty today to charges that he lied to the FBI in the unfolding federal investigation of wiretapping and other alleged wrongdoing by Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano.

When he is sentenced on July 31, McTiernan faces five years in prison, three years' probation and a $250,000 fine. He was expected to remain free on a $50,000 bond until sentencing....

McTiernan is the sixth person to plead guilty in the burgeoning investigation of Pellicano, who is accused of directing a racketeering enterprise that unlawfully wiretapped and conducted illegal background checks on dozens of celebrities and executives. Among them were actor Sylvester Stallone, comedians Garry Shandling and Kevin Nealon and real estate developer Robert Maguire.

How much you wanna bet McTiernan gets some time, is out on parole within a year, and quite suddenly and not at all in exchange for pleading guilty, finds himself deep in an eight-figure deal to direct Stallone’s big comeback action franchise starter? I’m just sayin’, is all.

This next one’s not so clear-cut. I said:

I think it's safe to say that il monarca lieto, or "sign of the joyful king," is the one that applies to most of the A-list superstars. If that's true, then someone who fits into that small category will this week do something spectacular and public that seems benign but is underneath malicious, following this advice: "Subtlety and grace are powerful weapons -- use them to turn those who would thwart you."

I think this may qualify, though it’s not as public as I’d have liked, at least not yet: Marianne Pearl, the widow of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, has chosen to whom she will sell the rights to her book, A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband, Danny Pearl, and it is none other than Brad Pitt. According to The New York Times:

Five studios bid for the rights. Ms. Pearl said she selected Mr. Pitt because of the five, "he was the only one who had read the book."

He read the book. How much more nobility and selflessnss and dedication can you expect from a major major Hollywood star who’s got far more important things to be doing, like saving Africa and brainstorming for whatever cool baby names Gwyneth and TomKat haven’t already snatched. And now he’ll get the chance to star in a movie that the Academy won’t dare not give him an Oscar for.

I’m just sayin’, is all...

Lastly, though, my prediction that “some has-been will get in trouble this week for doing something violent, perhaps against a former costar” doesn't seem to have come to pass. But maybe this story just hasn't hit the tabloids yet. We'll see...


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who I am


I'm MaryAnn Johanson: writer and ponderer in New York City who drinks too much wine and thinks way too much about such inconsequences as movies, TV, books, and the meaning of life.
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