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when in Stratford-upon-Avon, U.K., I stay at
Adelphi Guest House




cinemastrology Wed May 10 06, 7:01PM

cinemastrology: cinemascopes for the week of 05.11-05.17

Here are the ten signs of cinemastrology, and -- according to my informer -- what counsel members of each sign have received for the coming week:

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il rosa della bussola (sign of the compass rose): Your rule will remain uncontested as long as you maintain the confident facade -- it does no good to allow your self-doubts to show. Whenever you find yourself wavering, tell yourself: Positive is as positive does!

il chicco di caffè (sign of the coffee bean): Suck it up. These are the dues you have to pay in order to make your presence known. It may seem as if you are being ignored, but one or two someones are noticing, and they are merely biding their time.

il coltello da formaggio (sign of the cheese knife): Jealousy will only get you so far, unless you actually use that envy to fuel your ambition. What others take for hunger and drive could well be mere rage at the dumb luck that leads others to success. Only you know.

il libro dimenticato (sign of the forgotten book): A word a day is only a word a day until you string them together in a way that makes the world sit up and take note. Wonder why your efforts fail? Perhaps more than a mere word a day is demanded.

il gnocchi avanzi (sign of the leftover potato dumpling): Get yourself in shape, buy a few new things to wear, and get back on the circuit! You’ve only yourself to blame for the pitying glances you draw these days! Show them all up.

il pressa enologic (sign of the wine press): Ah, the sweet pleasures of regular intoxication will never be appreciated by those who deny themselves. Every day isn’t too often for those who know what they’re doing -- trust yourself and you’ll never go wrong.

il pugnale avvelenata (sign of the poisoned dagger): You push and push and push and no one notices, except those you’re pushing, but they hardly count, do they? It’s the important people who fail to appreciate all you’ve done, even when it benefits them. But they’re soon see the error of their ways.

il ratto nero infetto con peste (sign of the plague-infected black rat): Sunning by the poolside with an entourage or nursing a drink alone at the bar, you are king of the world... the only part of the world that matters, at least. Those you suffer to prostrate themselves before you can be useful.

il monarca lieto (sign of the joyful king): Numbers on a contract are your friends... if they’re big enough. But they’re never big enough for you, are they? Wonders never cease, unless you stop them. But do you dare?

il pittore pazzo (sign of the mad painter): Remember shag carpet? Depending on its color and the thickness of the padding, it could fly... or take a drive through the hills on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. Why? Why not?

(catch up with the unfolding story of cinemastrology here)


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who I am


I'm MaryAnn Johanson: writer and ponderer in New York City who drinks too much wine and thinks way too much about such inconsequences as movies, TV, books, and the meaning of life.
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• read my Doctor Who fan fiction

photo by David Speranza

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member, Alliance of Women Film Journalists

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recent screenings and hot movies

just opened (U.S.)
red for no The Twilight Saga: New Moon
yellow for maybe Planet 51
not viewed by me The Blind Side [trailer]
not viewed by me Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans [trailer]
yellow for maybe Broken Embraces
green for go Red Cliff [trailer]
yellow for maybe The Missing Person [trailer]
green for go Precious (expanding)
green for go Fantastic Mr. Fox (expanding)
just opened (U.K.)
red for no The Twilight Saga: New Moon
green for go A Serious Man
green for go The Informant!
box office top 5 (U.S.)
yellow for maybe 2012
red for no A Christmas Carol
green for go Precious
green for go The Men Who Stare at Goats
yellow for maybe Michael Jackson's This Is It
top limited releases (U.S.)
green for go Precious
red for no The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
green for go An Education
green for go A Serious Man
yellow for maybe Coco Before Chanel
box office top 5 (U.K.)
yellow for maybe 2012
red for no A Christmas Carol
not viewed by me Harry Brown
green for go Up
green for go The Men Who Stare at Goats
coming soon (U.S./U.K.)
red for no The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond
yellow for maybe Serious Moonlight [trailer]
yellow for maybe A Single Man [trailer]
green for go Everybody's Fine [trailer]
red for no The Strip
green for go The Private Lives of Pippa Lee [trailer]
green for go The Young Victoria [trailer]
green for go Creation [trailer]
green for go The Road [trailer]
green for go The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus [trailer]
other current flicks (U.S./U.K.)
green for go Amelia
red for no Antichrist [trailer]
red for no Astro Boy
yellow for maybe The Box
green for go The Boys Are Back
green for go Bright Star
green for go Capitalism: A Love Story [trailer]
yellow for maybe Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
yellow for maybe Collapse
red for no Couples Retreat
green for go Creation [trailer]
green for go The Damned United
green for go An Education
green for go Five Minutes of Heaven
yellow for maybe The Fourth Kind
red for no Gentlemen Broncos [trailer]
green for go The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus [trailer]
green for go The Invention of Lying
red for no Jennifer's Body
green for go The Messenger [trailer]
green for go Ong Bak 2: The Beginning
yellow for maybe Paranormal Activity
red for no Pirate Radio (aka The Boat That Rocked)
yellow for maybe A Single Man [trailer]
yellow for maybe Where the Wild Things Are
red for no Whiteout
red for no Women in Trouble
green for go Zombieland

2009 screening log

new on dvd

11.17 (Region 1)
green for go Star Trek [buy]
green for go Humpday [buy]
green for go Bruno [buy]
green for go Is Anybody There? [buy]
yellow for maybe The Limits of Control [buy]
yellow for maybe My Sister's Keeper [buy]
yellow for maybe How to Be [buy]
green for go Farscape: The Complete Series [buy]
green for go Gone with the Wind: 70th Anniversary Ultimate Collector's Edition [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.S.)

11.16 (Region 2)
green for go Star Trek [buy]
green for go Moon [buy]
green for go Sunshine Cleaning [buy]
yellow for maybe Four Christmases [buy]
yellow for maybe Tyson [buy]
green for go An Evening with John Barrowman [buy]
green for go Doctor Who: The Key to Time [buy]
green for go South Park: Christmas Time in South Park [buy]
green for go Star Trek Trilogy [buy]
green for go Star Trek: The Next Generation Movie Collection [buy]
green for go Star Trek: Films 1-10 Remastered Special Edition [buy]
yellow for maybe Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Season 2 [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.K.)

11.10 (Region 1)
green for go Up [buy]
red for no The Ugly Truth [buy]
green for go The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Complete Second Season [buy]
green for go Ink [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.S.)

11.09 (Region 2)
green for go Bruno [buy]
yellow for maybe The Age of Stupid [buy]
red for no Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian [buy]
green for go The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Complete Second Season [buy]
green for go All Creatures Great and Small: Christmas Specials [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.K.)

11.03 (Region 1)
green for go The Taking of Pelham 123 [buy]
green for go Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 [buy]
yellow for maybe Food, Inc. [buy]
red for no G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra [buy]
red for no Aliens in the Attic [buy]
red for no I Love You, Beth Cooper [buy]
green for go North by Northwest (50th Anniversary Edition) [buy]
green for go Doctor Who: The War Games [buy]
green for go Doctor Who: The Black Guardian Trilogy [buy]
green for go National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (Ultimate Collector's Edition) [buy]
green for go Mission: Impossible: Complete Series [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.S.)

11.02 (Region 2)
green for go Public Enemies [buy]
yellow for maybe Last Chance Harvey [buy]
red for no Year One [buy]
red for no Blood: The Last Vampire [buy]
green for go Wallace and Gromit: The Complete Collection [buy]
(complete list of this week's new releases at Amazon U.K.)

my book (Amazon U.S.)

my book (Amazon U.K.)

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