8th & Ocean (review)

Didja know: Modeling is hard! Like Barbie and Ken dolls with pullstrings, these 10 young models -- who sport names like Briana and Vinci -- spout banalities and pout about their miserable lives, and even more phonily, they spout and pout on cue for the reality-TV cameras that follow them around the like totally rad South Beach apartment complex they share and on their really hard photo shoots. They’re all as shallow as their chosen profession, which is about what you’d expect from an MTV series; these episodes aired earlier this year on the no-longer-music channel. Perhaps we’re supposed to feel sorry to see this young dumbsters being taken advantage of by modeling agencies or poked and prodded by photographers and stylists; perhaps we’re supposed to laugh at them -- I couldn’t work up the enthusiasm for either. And why is it always the crappy shows that come laden with bonus features? There’s an entire disc here of “Advice from the Experts” on becoming a model, deleted scenes, cast bios, even a featurette on Miami hotspots, but really, who cares?

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