my charming readers

I could have sworn I owned the "Mike" transformer when I was a kid.

I don't think he used enough profanity. That's why you didn't immediately convert to his viewpoint.

How about "cinematic musings by a silly Woman just for your fucking information"?

The "fucking" gives it that touch of class.

Why'd you have to go and post my e-mails, Snarky?

:D

Skye,
No, no, the Failure to use enough Capitalization was the real key. Evidently YOU are just another silly Woman, and BIAST on TOP of that or You would know These things. YOU FAIL, MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA.

David, you are of course correct, because you are a man.

David could totally be a chick named David.

Totally.

The anonymous ranter mentioned above needs to read and understand the following immortal words of wisdom...

You know, before I answer any more questions there's something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled... y'know... hundreds of miles to be here, I'd just like to say... GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed! You've turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!

Dude, they're Transformers. Chill. We all know they're alien robots. It was a mildly fun TV show, and the toys were pretty ingeniously designed, but it's nothing to give yourself an aneurysm over.

It's classy E-mails like that that make me so glad I'm not a "Transformers" fan. Not that there's anything wrong with--oh, never mind.

The writer of that e-mail sounds and spells like they are about twelve years old...I wouldn't take it TOO personally :)

Yeah, I wouldn't blame his lack of socialization on being a geek; sounds like he just hasn't lived long enough in the world, plain and simple. Give him time, I'm sure he'll be quite pleasant once he's gone through 5th grade.

And if you were going to commit suicide, you should make sure it's in a way that pays homage to something, kind of a final act as a critic/aspiring-screenwriter.

I hope this doesn't shatter whatever image of me (if any) you have in your mind after our several years of periodic exchanges, but I am somewhat of a Transformers geek. While I agree that the original show existed purely to sell toys, there is a reason it has survived the cyclical slings and undulating arrows of pop culture for as long as it has. Well, two reasons.

A) Simple, relatable, archetypal characters. Each of the main characters can be boiled down to a single societal role, or, more commonly, a basic personality trait. This is something I've noticed about a lot of shows I used to like as a child, and something that isn't as common in American animation as it used to be. At least in my opinion. Which is why I don't think any of the current crop of Saturday morning cartoons are going to be all that fondly remembered in twenty years. I could be wrong.

B) The pleasure of recognizing the real-world vehicles in the robot designs. The entire fun of them was looking at them and trying to figure out how the two forms were connected. You'd look at one and say "Oh, that chest piece is the hood, and that shoulder is the wheel well, and that shield is a hub cap," etc. There is just something inherently charming about seeing something you recognize used to make something else that is new and cool. Plus, there was always the added bonus of actually getting one of the toys and being able to make the transformation yourself.

I have mixed feelings about Michael Bay. I don't think he is an abomination unto the film gods, or anything, but I don't think he has any talent beyond loud, stupid mayhem, and I don't think he has any understanding of either of these two elements that are required for making a universally enjoyable Transformers movie. I'm sure it will be a huge success, but it won't sit right with a heck of a lot of geeks; not because it deviates from the most well-known source material, but because it lacks the spirit of the original. As Prisoner of Azkaban taught us, the spirit is far more important than the letter.

I'm sure this was way more than you wanted to read about the Transformers. *laughs* As for the movie, I'm going to say I am morbidly curious in a car-wreck kind of way, and I will probably see it, although not on opening weekend. Frankly, I don't think Michael Bay needs any more encouragement from me.

Jesus Herman Christ

I'm also a Transformers geek, and I've run into these kinds of trolls at places like BotCon and Transformers forums. Every group has to have the loud idiots that make the rest of the group look bad. Nice to know you have fellow TF-geek fans like Drave who can express themselves intelligently, even if it's hard to talk about the subject w/o looking especially dorky. *grin*

I take no shame in looking especially dorky. I am especially dorky.

I think it was a good thing to reveal this Transformer fan email. If someone wants to take out their frustrations in life by finding targets and sending them emails that get personally insulting and R-rated, they should be ready to have the world view their words.

Ok, on the subject of Transfomers...even though the MTV movie awards were an all around travesty that brought shame on the families of everybody in attendance. (You know you're terrible when you have orbit gum giving out an award and a 9-11 spoof. I mean, Wow) but the most hilarious and sad part was how about 40% of the show was designed as a corporate shill to transformers. It even won the award for 'best movie you haven't seen yet.' IE: There is a reason every first commerical break starts with a transformers clip.

Who is MTV even targeted to anymore? This was depressingly sad...especially the fact that Johnny Depp and John Krasinski were forced to show up.

/rant off.