opening wide today: ‘Drillbit Taylor,’ ‘Shutter,’ ‘Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns’

Drillbit Taylor
A bunch of school kids hire Owen Wilson to protect them from schoolyard bullies. Now, Wilson is a hoot and a half and all, but what’s he gonna do, reduce the bullies to wimpers with snarking takedowns? Actually, that might be pretty funny... (I skipped the screening cuz I was at the Sci Fi Channel event, and no, it was not a tough choice to make)

Shutter
A young couple discovers that their camera takes pictures of dead people. It’s yet another remake of an Asian horror movie, but really, doesn’t it sound like David Warner in The Omen taking pictures of how everybody dies? That was a great movie. (not screened for critics)

Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns
It’s just like Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, except here it’s Angela Bassett visiting her crass Southern kin, and you have to endure the so-not-funny spectacle of writer-director Perry in a crossdressing fat suit as “wacky” but “wise” Madea. Not a winner of this year’s Pulitzer Prize for anything. (not screened for critics before opening, but I’ll attend a courtesy screening on Friday morning; send a search party if you don’t hear from me)