the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Surfer, Dude’

Steve Addington (Matthew McConaughey) returns to Malibu to spend his summer surfing his home break. But the waves go flat, and his sponsorship deal turns south.

Huh. I didn’t know marijuana had gone corporate. “I’m Matthew McConaughey, and when I wanna get baked, I always choose... what’s the name of that shit again?”

Aided by his manager (Woody Harrelson), his mentor (Scott Glenn), his guardian angel (Willie Nelson),

His manager, his mentor, and his guardian angel? The jokes just write themselves, don’t they?

and his summer lover (Alexie Gilmore), Addington

More like Addleton, I bet.

has a chance of keeping his cool, but it’s not going to be easy. The dude needs a wave, and there’s never been a drought like this.

Right. Needs a “wave.” Uh-huh.

Here endeth the career of Matthew McConaughey. It will not be missed.