trailer break: ‘9’

Finally! Someone has animated the apocalypse! Well, Wall-E came close, but that was more an abandonment than an apocalypse. Here it looks like we’ve got the real thing: the world is trashed (is that Notre Dame on fire in the middle of the trailer? aww, no...), the people are gone, and only a rag doll with the voice of Elijah Wood can save--

What? Not us. We’re gone. I guess what’s left of the world is worth saving for himself, and the other ragdoll people he meets. And then there’s the machines to be stopped, of course: because the machines are so waiting for us to get out of the way so they can take over. Or hey, maybe the machines offed us in the first place? I bet they did! Bad machines! Bad! And then along comes ragdoll Elijah Wood to screw it all up for the machines.

Edward Scissorhands at the End of the World? It looks so cheery! So thank you, Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov, for giving us something to look forward to next autumn. No, seriously, your postapocalyptic doll story looks awesome.

(No, really, it does, doesn’t it?)

9 opens in the U.S. on September 9; no U.K. release date has been announced yet.