the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Royal Circus of Moscow: On Ice’

I love how you can hear in the title the emphasis on the On Ice, as if it had an exclamation point after it and it was the guy who did the opening-credits voiceover for Police Squad: In Color! intoning it.

It’s nice to know that kitsch is global. Maybe it’ll be the one thing that finally unites the human race:

The Royal Circus of Moscow on Ice is a brilliant performing arts extravaganza for the whole family. The program seamlessly unites the leading performers of the Moscow Ballet on Ice with the stars of the Moscow Circus on Ice. The Royal Circus of Moscow on Ice is a dynamic mix of modern and traditional dance, stunningly visual tricks in athletic balance and graceful gymnastics and aerial acrobatics; all marvelously combined with wonderfully comic clowns plus evocative cultural and modern musical acts: ALL ON ICE! This program consists of large ensemble dance acts, featuring different national influences, such as the 'Ukrainian Suite,' and the 'Russian Winter,' and 'Indian Frescoes.' The show features different musical influences in acts such as 'Country,' 'Crazy,' 'Memory of Elvis Presley,' combining them with terrific circus performances of 'Gymnast on Web,' 'Spiral,' and 'Acrobatic Duo: Olympia.'

I feel that I need to highlight this, in case your eyes glazed over before you got to the end: one of the dance sequences is called Memory of Elvis Presley. How spectacularly corny must that be?