No, not laser beams on his head. He plays Destro. He's supposed to have a chrome helmet on his head. His entire head. Encased.

In any event, any hope I had for this movie was ruined the moment they introduced those generic power suits. The whole concept behind the 80's G.I. Joe team was that everyone has a specialty; once you make them generic, you remove that dynamic.

You want an excellent modern re-interpretation of G.I. Joe? Watch Warren Ellis' remake as "G.I. Joe : Resolute". While it has some very minor failings, it IS what this movie probably should have been.

Mark my words: What J.J. Abrams did for Star Trek, Stephen Sommers is going to utterly fail to do for G.I. Joe. Rather than find a way to update it while remaining true to its roots, this movie is looks every bit like the generic borefest the poster above me said it was.

If seeing this was a job requirement for me (as it is for professional critics), I too would be rooting for Eccleston, and I'm not even a member of the "women older than 25" club.

It aggravates me as well. From what Chris' costars have said he did something really amazing too. At least the trailer in the theaters has him featuring prominently.

I may end up rooting for Destro as well, even if this character scares me a bit.

My childhood memories now have enough trauma to qualify for a Lifetime Movie of the Week starring Odette Yustman, Scott Wolf, Stockard Channing and Nick Chinlund as the smarmy Hollywood executive out to destroy us all. All that's left is a live-action Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers starring the Jonas Brothers to destroy whatever left's of mah soul.

This movie has no appeal for me whatsoever .. I am so fed up with mindless action summer blockbuster films ...but I think somebody should pass a law forbidding Hollywood to use toy lines/franchises as a pretext for movies ...I mean, seriously, in the 21st century, with literally centuries of literature behind us, the best we can come up with is toys?!!

If only such a law would spare us from another Bay Transformers film. Oh, yeah, and even if this film sucks (and considering Sommers is directing, it most likely will), it cannot possibly suck more than Transformers 2.

Is this a remake of Team America?

If so, I can't wait for Dennis Quaid to deliver that "I'm not going to f**k your mouth..." line.

@Bongwater; It's the film that Team America spoofed.

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff is at it again.

I think it's a testament to how low my expectations are for this film, that my only complaint is when one of the Transformers, I mean GI Joes, jumps through the train. How can he suddenly be moving at the same velocity as the train if he's moving in a perpendicular direction? There's no way he could enter through one window and exit through the opposing one if the train it going at any kind of speed, no matter how fast he's going.

Oh Atheismo, I'm questioning Popcorn logic in the trailer, how could I survive the fim itself?

You want an excellent modern re-interpretation of G.I. Joe?

No, not really. :->

Then stop linking the live action film, or at least provide a proper counter-balance.

YO JOE!

SaintAndy wrote: "it cannot possibly suck more than Transformers 2."

Oh ye of little faith. ;)

I never really had any hope for this movie. Then I saw pictures of Sienna Miller as the Baroness, and they nailed the look. She has GOT it. But then I heard her speak in character, and she didn't have the Baroness's non-specific Eastern European accent. :(
Then I saw some promo pics of Snake Eyes, and again (at least in the shots I saw) they nailed the look! And it's Ray Park in there! Awesome! But then I saw closeups, without the visor on, and he has molded lips and nose in the mask, and he's apparently wearing Dockers instead of, oh I don't know, BDUs. :(

And yet, I'll probably still see it. I have a terminal case of morbid curiosity. Matinee, though. Definitely not full price. Or I may pull my first-ever theater hop.

Here's what I don't get about the whole revamp -- from what the trailers have told me, the movie is about a crew of unique badasses, each one with an individual and endearing quirk, going up against a horde of unlikable dickweeds in faceless, generic black power suits. I'm okay with that setup. I know that setup.

But aren't I supposed to root against against the faceless mooks?

Well said MaryAnn! :)

It's almost scary how closely my thoughts are mirroring MaryAnn's on this one. In fact I'm not even bothering to watch this trailer now that I know it offers no more glimpses of Christopher Eccleston.

But aren't I supposed to root against the faceless mooks?

That was the old G.I. Joe, Andrew. In the post-9/11 world, we have met the faceless mook, and he is us.