trailer break: ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’Take a break from work: watch a trailer... Oh my goodness, Michael Bay does love blowing shit up, don’t he? Unexplained markings in ancient ruins all around the world? Michael Bay wants to make Raiders of the Lost Ark, methinks. With lots of shit blowing up, of course. I don’t like to spectulate about man who makes movies this loud and this aggressive and this full of shit blowing up -- and this concerned with a character called “Megatron”... Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I love to speculate! I’ve seen this trailer a dozen times, and every time, all I can think is, Michael Bay must have the tiniest penis to feel the need to overcompensate for it this much. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opens in the U.K. on June 19, and in the U.S. on June 24. support
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Tue Jun 02 09, 11:39AM categories: movie buzz permalink 10 pre-Disqus comments Disqus comments tip jarshare
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male inadequacy syndrome
Michael Bay Raiders of the Lost Ark trailer Transformers Revenge of the Fallen related· Conservative “sleeper agents” in Hollywood?; are we to blame for risk-free movies?; Michael Bay can now fix the blame for ‘Transformers 2’; more: leftover links · omg: Michael Bay’s next movie is totally gonna be a work of art, promise · question of the day: What do you think about the Razzie nominations? · Nine (review) · North American box office: ‘Final Destination’ clings to No. 1, just barely · question of the day: Is Michael Bay so incredibly awesome? · bias update: July 21 · bias update: July 7 · North American box office: ‘Transformers 2’ continues to steamroll the competition · North American box office: robots go smash bloggyprevious post: the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Retardead’ next post: watch it: “Disney’s Occultic Secrets (Part 1)” |
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pre-Disqus comments
posted by Michael (Tue Jun 02 09, 11:46AM)
"...and then it exploded." -Galaxy Quest
posted by Pollas (Tue Jun 02 09, 11:47AM)
I'm looking forward to it coming out so they'll stop playing previews for it. Lately each movie I see has a trailer for Transformers during the previews.
posted by PaulW (Tue Jun 02 09, 11:53AM)
Well, you see, in all my movies there'll be exploding penguins. Why? It'll be my signature move! Like Spielberg with "Close-up on awed facial expression" or Hitchcock's underlying theme of Catholic guilt or Kurosawa flicks always having a samurai. Me = Exploding Penguins = eventual evening on a Bravo interview show. >:_)
posted by MaSch (Tue Jun 02 09, 1:21PM)
My guess about Michael Bay?
He once stumbled upon a feminist text about the "male gaze" and considered it a fantastic concept.
Anyone remembers the video clip for "I'd do anything for love", directed by Bay? Never was there more over-the-top ogling of conventionally beautiful women, outside porn.
Including porn as well, if one really thinks about it.
posted by bzero (Tue Jun 02 09, 6:13PM)
*gaffaw* *snerk*
posted by Josh C. (Tue Jun 02 09, 8:38PM)
I suspect it would be silly of me to hope that the script turns out better for the sequel. When Sam Witwicky said something along the lines of, "I think he wants us to get in the car," after Bumblebee opens its own door for him and Mikaela, I screamed at my TV screen, "DUH!"
posted by Mathias (Tue Jun 02 09, 11:00PM)
If i was Micheal Bay, i'd shock the world by finding the best unmade spec script in hollywood and making a $10 million dollar budgeted indie.
And, here's the catch, not only does it not have a single explosion, but not one action beat. But i'd still enjoy lots of explosions, from critics heads of course. :D
posted by SaintAndy (Wed Jun 03 09, 2:39PM)
Oh, great! A thread for Bay bashing! God, I hate how he sucks the life/feeling/genuine emotion/symbolism/depth/coherence/add any significant quality for a film here... out of everything he does. For the life of me, I'll never understand how some people can actually consider his films good.
posted by Penis Analysis (Thu Jun 04 09, 12:17AM)
"Michael Bay must have the tiniest penis to feel the need to overcompensate for it this much."
BOY ARE U WRONG.
HIS PENIS IS HUGE! THE BIGGEST I HAVE EVER SEEN. I SWEAR.
posted by Shadowen (Fri Jun 05 09, 11:05PM)
I think the thing that annoys me most is "We found these markings on ancient ruins all over the world."
And we pretty much see a lot of ruins in vast deserts, and of course finish in Egypt.
The implication being that of course brown people can't achieve anything of lasting value on their own. It must have been super-advanced aliens.
(In fairness, it looks as though one fight scene takes place in an area with greenery. Stonehenge, maybe?)
Also, if you're wondering about how much more ridiculously big and explodey he can get...well, with Transformers, I suggest you look up Unicron.
...no, not unicorn, Unicron.
If he pulls that off, I think he's going to retire.