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The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (review)

It’s possible that this appallingly awful excuse for a raunchy comedy is meant to be satirical, but I suspect it’s merely shockingly incompetent, even grading on the raunchy-comedy curve. Not that it would have worked as satire, either, but the notion makes it slightly easier to explain away what appears to be the concept here: If only we were all as rude, crude, lewd, and selfish as super car salesman Don Ready (Jeremy Piven [RocknRolla], who looks embarrassed to be here, as well he should), America would be great again. Or else it’s the sleazy bigotry and uncontrollable horniness of America that has always made the nation great; the scrawlers of the “script” (Andy Stock and Rick Stempson, who actually put their names to their only previous produced work, the direct-to-DVD Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach) don’t seem to know what they want to say, except that any scene that can conceivably be set in a strip club while near-naked women shake their asses in the protagonists’ faces, should be so set. Over one Fourth of July weekend, Ready and his team of morons will engage in a lying, cheating race to the bottom in order to sell every car on a Temecula, California, lot, and the screenwriters and director Neal Brennan (TV’s Chappelle’s Show) will engage in a race to the bottom to see who can be more disgusting. Will Stock and Stempson win, with their invention of a 10-year-old with a hormonal problem who looks like a grown man (played by Rob Riggle [The Hangover], whom we must surely pity) and the car-selling broad (Kathryn Hahn: Step Brothers) who makes every attempt possible to sexually molest him? Or will it be Brennan, who smears a reeking musk of desperation all over his movie, in the hopes that you will laugh at anything, or at least not leave the theater with a desire to strangle him to prevent him from committing more cinema?

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viewed at a public multiplex screening
rated R for sexual content, nudity, pervasive language and some drug material
official site | IMDB | trailer | more reviews at MRQE
see everything else I've got on: Goods Live Hard Sell Hard
(links here are good for finding recent posts, but will not be fully functional till I finish tagging 11 years worth of reviews and blog entries; I'll post a notice when tagging is done)
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comments

wow...ur a bitch.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, public education simply doesn't work... in many cases. The use of a period is somewhat promising; perhaps there's hope yet. Heed the words of the man in the box and stay in school for as long as you can anonymous assailant. Someday they'll trust you enough to let you microwave your own burrito, but for now just take things one step at a time. Here's a handy guide to chart your progression:

Troll Toddler
----------
bioch
bitch!!!!!
U A BITCH
ur bitch!
ur a bitch.
your a bitch.
youre a bitch.
You're a bitch.
You're a gay bitch who smells like catfood. This movie was hella funny!
This reviewer is taking this movie way too seriously. I laughed my ass off.
----------
Adult Troll

You're halfway there, my little troll larva! Keep up the good work! In just a few short years, you'll be telling us all how stupid a review is with a whole paragraph! *sniff* You little ones grow up so fast these days.

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I'm MaryAnn Johanson: writer and ponderer in New York City who drinks too much wine and thinks way too much about such inconsequences as movies, TV, books, and the meaning of life.
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