the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie’

Looks like Disney has jumped on the Harry Potter bandwagon:

The most magical event of the year is now even bigger, with more thrilling adventure! Wizards Of Waverly Place The Movie Extended Edition features exclusive footage, behind-the-scenes bonus and awesome extras that take you deeper into the mysterious world of wizardry!

Embark on a supernaturally exciting adventure as the Russos, your favorite family of wizards-in-training, join together on a quest full of heart-stopping action and hilarious magical mishaps! While on vacation, Alex (Selena Gomez) accidentally casts a spell that threatens her family’s existence! Max (Jake T. Austin) tries to keep his parents together while Alex and Justin (David Henrie) use every trick they know as they search for the “Stone of Dreams” to reverse the spell and save their family. You won’t want to miss one extraordinary moment of this extended, magic-filled and action-packed movie!

This is the movie version of a Disney Channel sitcom, which sounds awfully mean:

Wizards of Waverly Place centers on the Russo family, which includes Alex (Selena Gomez), her younger brother Max (Jake T. Austin), and their older brother Justin (David Henrie); Alex's best friend Harper (Jennifer Stone) is also part of the storyline. The three Russo siblings are wizards in training and live with their Italian-American father Jerry (David DeLuise), a former wizard, and their Mexican-American mother, Theresa (Maria Canals Barrera) who is a mortal. The siblings have to keep their secret safe.

The children are not allowed to use magic without supervision, and only one of the three will keep their magic abilities once they are adults; this will be determined by a magic competition. Typical episodes revolve around Alex using magic to solve a problem, and then ending up with even more problems than she began with.

The kids have to compete against one another? Man, whose idea was this?

Anyway, the movie is apparently about a family vacation to the Caribbean, so this is like when the Brady Bunch went to the Grand Canyon, I guess.

Bobbeeee! Cindeeee!

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Not only competitive magic, but please note that it's always the girl who fucks up, leaving the boys to fix everything. No thanks, Disney.

Is it me, or does the "Stone of Dreams" look like a piece of polished glass hooked to a carabiner?

The carabiner is so that you don't lose the stone while you're sleeping. Or rock climbing. I wish all magical talismans came with one. I can't tell you how many I've accidentally dropped.

I ended up having to watch this movie when it premiered on The Disney Channel because I was babysitting with my girlfriend. It was surprisingly not as awful as I expected! Don't get me wrong, it's not actually good or anything, but I didn't want to claw my eyes out while we were watching it or anything, either. And I do want to claw my eyes out with most of the stuff we watch with these kids, like Suite Life of Zack and Cody, or Hannah Montana. Although they do also like Phineas and Ferb, which is truly, truly excellent.

And nerdycellist, in the movie, the girl does initially screw up, but then she actually wins the competition against her brother, and ends up saving the day. So, ya know, that's something.

These 'tweener sitcoms are just all bad. And "Wizards" isn't even the worst. My daughters have coaxed me to sit through episodes of "Suite Life" and "iCarly" that made me physically ill.

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posted:
Tue Dec 15 09, 11:03AM

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