trailer break: ‘The Spy Next Door’

Or, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s a Spy.

Yeah, men are totally incapable of taking care of children. Also: They have no idea how to read the simple instructions on a carton of oatmeal, or that you need to protect your hands when removing hot trays from the oven. Gee, we gals better never let the poor dumb menfolk take over any domestic responsibilities lest they fuck it up beyond all measure. Good thing we’re all so handy at cooking and keeping an eye on kids.

On the other hand, why should we entrust international security to a man -- even Jackie Chan -- who cannot read the simple instructions on a cartoon of oatmeal?

Funny how they say “with Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez” like these are good things.

The Spy Next Door opens in the U.S. and Canada on January 15; no U.K. release date has been announced.