question of the day: If you could retitle any blockbuster, what would you call it?

Sci Fi Wire ran a piece recently about “the secret code names of 37 sci-fi blockbuster films” -- which sounds cooler than it actually is. I thought it would be about the original titles for great films that we now love, and hey, wouldn’t it be funny/silly/stupid if we couldn’t stop talking about that classic film I Almost Married My Mother, and isn’t it better that we instead call it Back to the Future?

But that’s not what the piece is about. Instead, it’s about the fake titles mega productions often use to disguise the fact that they’re shooting, say, a new Star Wars movie, not actual might-have-been titles. And with the exception of the granddaddy of them all -- I still want to see a movie called Blue Harvest, the code name used during shooting of Return of the Jedi, which I find very evocative and mysterious -- they’re not very interesting. Incident on 57th Street was the code name for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? *yawn* Changing Seasons was actually The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring? Who cares?

So let’s have fun with this. Invent a working title for a film we love -- or love to hate -- that’s even better (or worse, in an interesting way) than the title it ended up with. Here’s mine:

The Matrix = How to Unplug from the World Without Really Trying

If you could retitle any blockbuster, what would you call it? Have fun!

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTD sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)

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posted by LaSargenta (Fri Mar 12 10, 12:20PM)

CB already did the best one ever for me: Avatar = Dances with Thundersmurfs

http://www.flickfilosopher.com/blog/2010/01/012710because_no_one_would_believe_i.html#comment-54499

But, I do recall referring to Gone With The Wind as Don't Cry For Me Atlanta.

posted by C David Dent (Fri Mar 12 10, 1:28PM)

Giant Squid vs Megashark = Finding Sushi

Next Judd Aptow Comedy = Whoops, I Did It Again

Snakes on a Plane = Big, Bad, Mutha-F**kin' Action Movie

Inglorious Basterds = A little less conversation (A litle more action)

posted by Kenny (Fri Mar 12 10, 2:13PM)

Well... I think some movies based on books would have much more interesting titles if they kept the name of the book.

One of the great examples would be 'Bladerunner', which was of course known as 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' when Phillip K. Dick wrote it.

posted by Daniel (Fri Mar 12 10, 2:18PM)

When they adapted The Secret by Rhonda Byrne into a movie, they should have called it Help Me Rhonda.

posted by JoshDM (Fri Mar 12 10, 2:54PM)

If AVP2 took place in Colorado, then it should have been called "Colorado Nights" because that's just an awesome name for a sci-fi flick taking place in Colorado.

posted by Keith (Fri Mar 12 10, 4:30PM)

Here is a few that come to mind:

Avatar = Blue Man Group

Back The The Future 3 = Time After Time After Time

Serenity = The Little Space Ship That Misbehaved

Sherlock Holmes = Safehouse

The Hurt Locker = Chest Pain

The Wolfman = Man Who Stares Hungrily At Goats

posted by Josh C. (Fri Mar 12 10, 5:06PM)

The Passion of the Christ becomes You Only Live Twice.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen becomes Girls Gone Wild Part 281.

posted by Paul (Fri Mar 12 10, 5:06PM)

Star Wars = Water Farm Boy

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom = Steven Speilberg and His Divorce Therapy Outlet

Battlefield Earth = The Alien Comedy

Jaws = A Boat Too Small

posted by Keith (Fri Mar 12 10, 8:07PM)

Jaws 4 = Too Long In The Tooth

posted by Tonio Kruger (Fri Mar 12 10, 9:36PM)

Blue Steel = Homme Fatale

Shakespeare in Love = The Bridges of Stratford-on-Avon

Paul Blart: Mall Cop = Travis Bickle: Mall Cop

The Long Kiss Goodnight = Identity Crisis aka The Best Mother's Day Movie for Action Movie Fans Ever

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride = The Butterfly Effect aka A Rose for Emily aka The Nightmare After Christmas

Iron Sky = Spacetime for Hitler

The Sorcerer's Apprentice = Just Like Harry Dresden But Not--Thank God

posted by drewryce (Fri Mar 12 10, 10:29PM)

Silent Running - "Huey, Dewey and Looey Go Blewie"

Dr Zhivago - "Maybe Emigrating to Paris Isn't Such a Bad Idea"

Wuthering Heights - "Heathcliff Haunts The Heather"

Couples Retreat - "Who Greenlit This Shit?"

posted by TommyB (Tue Mar 16 10, 6:26AM)

Twilight = Vampires with bad aftertaste

Twilight Saga - A new moon = Twilight Saga - Who let the Dogs out?
Forgetting Sarah Marshall = Who let the Schlong out?
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back = Snoochie Boochies: Who let the Bong out?

The Dark Knight = Bat makes up with Bad-Makeup
Terminator 4 = Laryngitis 2

Jaws 4 = Jaws - Lost denture
X-Men 3 = Mutants with Issues
Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen = Transformers - Who dat Robot?

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Fri Mar 12 10, 11:34AM

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Back to the Future
Blue Harvest
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring
Matrix
qotd
Return of the Jedi
Sci Fi Wire
Star Wars

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next post:
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question of the day: If you could retitle any blockbuster, what would you call it?

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