celeb news of the week: Parents Television Council to Nicki Minaj: Decent ladies don’t have nipples

A glimpse of a nipple is “inappropriate” for children and families? I mean, moreso than anything else one might see on morning television? How do babies get breastfed if no one is allowed to see a nipple, especially not children and familes? And if a brief glimpse of a woman’s nipple in a nonsexual situation is inappropriate for children and families, does that mean it’s appropriate for grownups who are not part of a family?

I wish the PTC would be honest and say what it means:

Ladyparts are nasty. Anything that remotely reminds us of sex must never enter our sight; it terrifies us too much. While we’re at it, we shudder to see ‘chicken breast’ on a menu, so could restaurants please change the wording to ‘chicken expurgated’ or ‘censored of chicken.’ Thanks. Oh, and ankles of piano legs must be covered at all times. We don’t even like to look at sausage or bananas, if we’re being totally upfront here. So we declare hot dogs to be unAmerican. Thank you.

I wish I were a parent just this once, so I could say to PTC: You don’t represent me, so please shut the fuck up.