Conan the Barbarian (review)
More Like Conan the Bore-barian
Born on a battlefield! Blood blood blood! Bone crunching! Burn burn burn! In 3D!
Is that Morgan Freeman narrating? WTF?
Brutality! Beheading beheading beheading! The boy ain’t right! In 3D!
Ancient bloodline! Black magic! Bone mask! Half-bald witch babe! Blood blood blood! Burn burn burn!
“Hello. My name is Conan the Barbarian. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Bulging biceps! Biceps biceps biceps! Bouncing boobies! Boobies boobies boobies!
Man, who’da thunk we’d look back on The Scorpion King and realize it was actually a masterpiece?
Blood blood blood! Blade on blade! Blowup! Burn burn burn! Bone crunch! Brutality! Horse punching! Blood blood blood! In 3D!
Barbarian beefcake! Boning on a boulder bed! Barbarian buns!
“You’re that little barbarian brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago...”
Battle boom! Bollocks grab! Babe-on-babe combat!
Boring! In 3D!
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Thu Aug 25 11, 9:12PM
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> 2011 theatrical releases
by MaryAnn Johanson
North America release date:
Aug 19 2011
U.K. release date:
Aug 24 2011
Flick Filosopher Real Rating:
rated B for blood biceps boobs blades brutality bustin’ out all over
MPAA: rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity
BBFC: rated 15 (contains strong bloody violence and a sex scene)
viewed at a private screening with an audience of critics
more reviews at:
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Movie Review Intelligence
Region 1 release date:
Nov 22 2011
Region 2 release date:
Dec 12 2011
based on a book
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