Conan the Barbarian (review)
More Like Conan the Bore-barian Born on a battlefield! Blood blood blood! Bone crunching! Burn burn burn! In 3D! Is that Morgan Freeman narrating? WTF? Brutality! Beheading beheading beheading! The boy ain’t right! In 3D! Ancient bloodline! Black magic! Bone mask! Half-bald witch babe! Blood blood blood! Burn burn burn! “Hello. My name is Conan the Barbarian. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” Bulging biceps! Biceps biceps biceps! Bouncing boobies! Boobies boobies boobies! Man, who’da thunk we’d look back on The Scorpion King and realize it was actually a masterpiece? Blood blood blood! Blade on blade! Blowup! Burn burn burn! Bone crunch! Brutality! Horse punching! Blood blood blood! In 3D! Barbarian beefcake! Boning on a boulder bed! Barbarian buns! “You’re that little barbarian brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago...” Battle boom! Bollocks grab! Babe-on-babe combat! Boring! In 3D! support
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Thu Aug 25 11, 9:12PM join the conversation: Disqus comments posted in: reviews > 2011 theatrical releases by MaryAnn Johanson infoNorth America release date: Aug 19 2011 U.K. release date: Aug 24 2011 Flick Filosopher Real Rating: rated B for blood biceps boobs blades brutality bustin’ out all over MPAA: rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity BBFC: rated 15 (contains strong bloody violence and a sex scene) viewed at a private screening with an audience of critics official site IMDb trailer more reviews at: Movie Review Query Engine Movie Review Intelligence dvdRegion 1 release date: Nov 22 2011 Amazon US Amazon Canada Region 2 release date: Dec 12 2011 Amazon UK read moreaction adventure based on a book fantasy related· March 31-April 2: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings · Conan the Barbarian (terrible movie quotes) · Conan the Barbarian (redband trailer) · Dolphin Tale (trailer) · question of the day: What actor who hasn’t already done so should play Ebenezer Scrooge? · cinematic roots of: ‘Red’ · Red (review) · Oscar predictions: ‘The Hurt Locker’ won’t be hurting · question of the day: How could the Oscar telecast draw more viewers? · question of the day: Who will the Oscar Best Actress and Best Actor nominees be? bloggyprevious post: retro ad: 1950s Pepsi commercial with James Dean next post: London photo of the day: outside Darwin’s greenhouse |
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