things you need to know: your favorite actor isn’t sexy unless ‘People’ magazine says so

Look:

(Many more important journalistic truth-telling photos at Buzzfeed.)

These people know the facts that have been hidden from the masses: People isn’t just a magazine. People decides who is sexy and who isn’t. You probably didn’t know that you’re not allowed to get turned on by someone who isn’t this year’s Sexiest Man or Woman Alive (and if you have been, better turn yourself into your local police station pronto). People has been dictating who is sexy and who isn’t for too long.

Better go sign the petition at Change.org before you accidentally find yourself becoming a criminal for thinking sexy thoughts about Ryan Gosling. You probably already have!