Conquest of Space (retro trailer)

What, wait?

Had we conquested space in by 1955 and no one told me?

Oh, *groan* That’s cheating.

Wow, literally a jumping-off place. We’re going to Mars, but you have to vacuum-ski the whole way. All the kids are doing it.

Sometime before the year 2000 AD, this amazing event will take place.

Oh dear...

“The greatest human adventure of all time”?

Looks like they mean the greatest white-guy adventure all time, actually.