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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

Arrival movie review: how to talk to aliens and expand your consciousness

Tue Nov 08 2016, 10:11pm | 33 comments

Doctor Strange movie review: even Marvel is now tired of origin stories

Thu Oct 27 2016, 02:31pm | 81 comments

Antibirth movie review: bad baby bad

Wed Oct 05 2016, 08:28pm | 6 comments

The Girl with All the Gifts movie review: I believe the children are our future…

Mon Sep 19 2016, 08:50pm | 10 comments

Morgan movie review: AI why?

Mon Sep 05 2016, 05:18pm | 1 comment

The Purge: Election Year movie review: soylent green is Donald Trump!

Fri Aug 26 2016, 12:04pm | 3 comments

Suicide Squad movie review: sh*t squad

Fri Aug 05 2016, 06:30pm | 169 comments

Into the Forest movie review: end of the world, not as we’ve known it

Fri Jul 29 2016, 03:46pm | 1 comment

Train to Busan (Busanhaeng) movie review: delays due to zombies

Sat Jul 23 2016, 08:03pm | 16 comments

Star Trek Beyond movie review: future positive (but it won’t come easily)

Thu Jul 21 2016, 05:14pm | 18 comments

Ghostbusters movie review: boo yeah!

Tue Jul 12 2016, 08:05pm | 95 comments

Independence Day: Resurgence movie review: Precis of Report on Readiness of Planet YD56201.3 to Join Galactic Alliance

Wed Jun 29 2016, 09:59pm | 16 comments

Approaching the Unknown movie review: no life on the way to Mars

Tue Jun 07 2016, 08:56pm | 4 comments

Warcraft: The Beginning (aka Warcraft) movie review: guest review by a white male teenage nerd from 1987

Mon Jun 06 2016, 02:24pm | 277 comments

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows movie review: shell schlock

Mon May 30 2016, 10:00pm | 87 comments

X-Men: Apocalypse movie review: everyone knows the third movie is always the worst

Thu May 19 2016, 10:31pm | 20 comments

These Final Hours movie review: armageddon a hint of emotion

Thu May 05 2016, 09:24pm | 0 comments

Captain America: Civil War movie review: the consequences of superpowers

Fri Apr 29 2016, 09:43pm | 39 comments

Ratchet & Clank movie review: wretched and junk

Thu Apr 28 2016, 12:42pm | 208 comments

The Survivalist movie review: whatever it takes

Tue Apr 19 2016, 01:45pm | 0 comments

Midnight Special movie review: let the children use it

Fri Apr 08 2016, 03:17pm | 2 comments

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice movie review: sucker punch

Mon Mar 28 2016, 10:31pm | 307 comments

10 Cloverfield Lane movie review: the monsters women have to deal with

Thu Mar 17 2016, 11:57pm | 6 comments

The Divergent Series: Allegiant movie review: walled in by reality

Thu Mar 10 2016, 08:54pm | 3 comments

Deadpool movie review: origin story with a potty mouth

Tue Feb 09 2016, 08:02pm | 108 comments

The 5th Wave movie review: disaster movie, in more ways than one

Fri Jan 22 2016, 10:31pm | 6 comments

Synchronicity movie review: wormhole of the heart

Thu Jan 21 2016, 10:20pm | 6 comments

Star Wars: The Force Awakens movie review: a new hope

Thu Dec 17 2015, 05:00pm | 98 comments

Victor Frankenstein movie review: monster mush

Fri Dec 04 2015, 01:22pm | 12 comments

Downtime DVD review: 1995 Doctor Who fan film, on DVD for the first time

Mon Nov 16 2015, 08:24pm | 0 comments

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 movie review: breaking the blockbuster

Mon Nov 16 2015, 02:05pm | 10 comments

The Martian movie review: life on Mars

Mon Oct 12 2015, 04:37pm | 44 comments

Containment (aka Infected) movie review: no place like home

Wed Sep 16 2015, 01:07pm | 0 comments

Listening movie review: plug your ears

Tue Sep 15 2015, 08:51pm | 0 comments

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials movie review: apocalyptic pile-on

Fri Sep 11 2015, 10:40am | 5 comments

American Ultra movie review: Bourne to lose

Fri Sep 04 2015, 03:27pm | 7 comments

Hitman: Agent 47 movie review: kill it

Fri Aug 28 2015, 07:19pm | 3 comments

Absolutely Anything movie review: absolutely appalling

Tue Aug 18 2015, 05:29pm | 5 comments

Pixels movie review: blue screen of death (please)

Mon Aug 10 2015, 05:43pm | 9 comments

Harbinger Down movie rating: red light

Fri Aug 07 2015, 09:45pm | 1 comment

Fantastic Four movie review: fantastic bore

Thu Aug 06 2015, 05:23pm | 86 comments

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation movie review: familiar yet fresh

Mon Jul 27 2015, 05:29pm | 4 comments

Self/less movie review: mind/less, brain/less, point/less

Thu Jul 16 2015, 02:32pm | 8 comments

Ant-Man movie review: superhero reduction

Mon Jul 13 2015, 09:19am | 80 comments

Closer to God movie review: far from heaven

Fri Jul 03 2015, 09:35pm | 0 comments

Comet movie review: orbital decay

Fri Jul 03 2015, 09:42am | 1 comment

Terminator Genisys movie review: back from the future… again

Thu Jul 02 2015, 08:16pm | 22 comments

Index Zero movie review (Edinburgh International Film Festival)

Fri Jun 19 2015, 10:25am | 5 comments

Maggie movie review: sympathy for the zombie’s dad

Wed Jun 17 2015, 10:14pm | 5 comments

The Lazarus Effect movie review: flatlined horror

Wed Jun 17 2015, 08:04pm | 3 comments

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