Subject: Apollo's lightning?
From: Andrew Kleinman [ask170@psu.edu]

There's a very good reason Apollo didn't strike Achilles down with a thunderbolt -- Zeus controls the thunderbolts!

It should be FURTHER noted that Apollo is the god of archery, and that's what did Achilles in.

I respond:

Zeus controls the thunderbolts!

So, Hector was either being metaphoric when he said that thing about the lightning bolts, or he was expecting someone to come to Apollo's aid. Or he missed that day at Sunday school.

It should be FURTHER noted that Apollo is the god of archery

There *is* a touch of the divine about Orlando Bloom, it's true.

The reader responds:

So, Hector was either being metaphoric

Didn't he just say he expected Achilles to get struck down? Nobody specified thunderbolts.

There *is* a touch of the divine about Orlando Bloom, it's true.

The way I figure it, the moral of the movie is that if you put a bow and arrow in Orlando Bloom's hands, people are going to get fucked up.

I respond:

Nobody specified thunderbolts.

Maybe. Does it really matter?

people are going to get fucked up.

Heh.

Subject: TROY review
From: Andrew Molinaro [bosshogg@mindspring.com]

I enjoyed reading your review and regularly read the site, but wanted to ask one thing.

Have you heard the original TROY score? It's much better than the one that was used. James Horner wrote his score in less than two months, while the original composer (Gabriel Yared), spent the better part of a year working on his, before it was scrapped in March of this year following some negative comments at a test screening.

Anyway, follow the link below and click on NEWS and then THE SCORE FOR TROY to hear highlights from what could've been the music behind the film and would've made it a much more epic film in my opinion.

http://www.gabrielyared.com/

I respond:

I hadn't known about the new score. Thanks for filling me in.

Subject: A footnote to Troy
From: Dave Turner [david.turner5@comcast.net]

I read and (largely) agreed with your review of Troy. One thing you failed to mention, however, is how all the myth and Greek tragedy was scrubbed from the story. For me, this hamstrung my enjoyment of the movie.

How does Achilles' death scene make any sense without knowing that he was invulnerable to harm except for the heel? For those who don't know the full story of Achilles, it would seem an odd choice for a first blow to land.

Why remove the actual presence of the gods? It's not like they do much in the Illiad except talk and walk a bit (as I recall). It would reinforce one of the classic themes of Greek tragedy with the movie only feebly hinted at: the mortals are doomed to be the playthings of the gods. All throughout the movie, we hear people saying that events are the "will of the gods". In the Illiad, this is literally the case because the gods are there mixing it up with the mortals. The mortals are fully aware of their destinies and bravely embrace them.

The movie was already comfortable with moral ambiguity, as you astutely pointed out. Why not go all the way and kick in some good, old-fashioned, crushing tragedy as well? I felt as though the film flirted with that idea and abandoned it, much to its detriment.

Keep up your great work!

I respond:

I thought there was plenty of tragedy to go round in this version of the Helen story, although perhaps you're right in that it's not essentially *Greek* in nature. It may be that the Greeks saw themselves as doomed to be the playthings of the gods... It may be that the creators of this film, taking a more modern agnostic approach, wanted to indict those who invoke the gods without any evidence that the gods actually exist...

Subject: et tu flickus?
From: Steve Stevens [ibelieveimsteve@msn.com]

A rave for Shrek 2? Oh Flicky. Somewhere The Man is laughing an evil, triumphant laugh.

I respond:

Why?

The reader responds:

No reason. Just needling you. Geez you women take everything so literally.

I respond:

I hate trolls.

The reader responds:

Hey I'm not a troll! Man you have some serious rage issues. But that's ok. You still rock. Even if you are Stalinistically cruel. :(

I respond:

I'm not angry. And your email fits the classic definition of a troll.

Subject: Bronx Cheer, etc.
From: Torrey A Stenmark (S) [t_stenmark@ColoradoCollege.edu]

A respectful inquiry: Why have you not posted more of your original writing, and if you have, why haven't I found it yet? Bronx Cheer is great. I rarely like romantic comedies and spend most of the film yelling at them to shut up and get together already. This screenplay, though, made me smile and actually enjoy the stops along the way. The geeky touches were very nice; that's something you don't see often in romantic comedies. The subtle background about the extrasolar planet and the aliens was very clever and pertinent to the story, in a way I appreciated. You could care about the characters, their loneliness, their awkward but real interactions. I actually liked the way everyone, even the minor characters, seemed to end up happy. If I had any connections, I'd point you out to them, but you'll have to settle for knowing that you have at least one audience member when your screenplays sell.

And, like many other people who write to you, I love your site. I enjoy your reviews. They're always intelligent and well thought out, and I agree with them more often than not. I like reading your perspective since I also consider myself a female geek. Most recently, your review of Troy simply confirmed my desire to see it. Comments like, "That is exactly what I want out of my movies: to be surprised, to find modern pertinence in a classic tale, and to see beautiful naked men. Who could ask for more?" make it clear that this is a movie worth watching and a critic worth reading. Troy was awesome, the stars were delicious, and it was everything I hoped it would be. Thanks for writing your coherent, entertaining, and informative reviews. I very much enjoy reading your work.

I respond:

I'm so glad you enjoyed *Bronx Cheer,* and that you want to read more of my writing. At the moment, I'm holding off on posting my other completed screenplay, *Cat and Mouse,* because it relies on some elements of surprise and I don't want to ruin any opportunities I may have of selling the script (which I haven't quite given up on yet). I am working on a couple of other scripts, and I'm contemplating a novel, so there will be more stuff other than movie reviews to be had at some point in the near future.

Thanks for all your kind words about my reviews.

07.29.04

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