The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (review)

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The masters of drifting, the Asian racing technique that involves a lot of skidding and is consequently far less soothing and meditative than the moniker suggests, “learned to drift out in the mountains by feeling it,” our dubious hero, an American redneck (Lucas Black: Jarhead), abroad in Japan is informed, “so feel it.” Call it Car-Fu: The Legend Continues, this third and entirely superfluous installment in the trilogy that will, perhaps, one day in a future oil-depleted era, be seen as the last gasp of America’s love affair with things that go vroom! Black, who makes the formerly fast and furious Paul Walker look like Kenneth Branagh, journeys East, where he instantly discovers that teenagers are really old all over the world — even in Japan, they’re pushing 30 — but are, like American kids, just looking to pass an evening racing hot rods, if they’re dumb-as-rocks guys, and gyrating against hot rods, if they’re scantily clad gals. The first two Furious flicks were, at least, boneheadedly enjoyable — you left the theater wanting to floor it home. This time, I couldn’t even care who lives and who drives, er, dies.

see also:
The Fast and the Furious and 2 Fast 2 Furious (review)
Fast & Furious (review)
Fast Five (aka Fast and Furious 5: Rio Heist) (review)
The Grating Toretto, by Nick Carraway (Fast & Furious 6 review)
Fast & Furious 7 (aka Furious 7) movie review: head-on vehicular hard-on
Fast & Furious 8 (aka The Fate of the Furious) movie review: notes from the critics’ ward
Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw movie review: everything wrong with the world today

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Fri, Jun 16, 2006 4:40am

MaryAnn, I have no intention of seeing this film, but I sure enjoyed reading your review. You have a great sense of humor.

Sat, Jun 17, 2006 8:30am

I knew it was going to be bad, not I had no idea just how vast the realm of suckiness is, and this one sucks fast and furiously.
The lead looks AT LEAST 32, and the scenes with his ‘parents’ were the best involuntary comedy of the year.
Gotta love the leading ‘lady’ with her ‘I’m a slut who’s going to get everyone in troube’ look from her very first scene.
BTW, when did he learn Japanese to go and talk to the Yakuza boss, considering that he spent his time with people that only spoke flawless English?
and how did Lil Bow Wow -or whoever that gangsta kid is- get a visa to live in Japan? Just how did he get to Japan, what is he doing there other than selling dogy iPods?

Sat, Jun 17, 2006 9:47am

I have just read that this man was born in 1982. well, he really must be living on the edge, because he looks like he was born in at least 1975.

Tonio Kruger
Tonio Kruger
Mon, Jun 19, 2006 11:26pm

The first time I saw the trailer for this flick, I thought that somebody in Hollywood had finally come across the book “Speed Tribes”–and then took the title way too literally….

Thu, Jun 22, 2006 5:13pm

Wow, it’s pretty obvious that you do not like cars what so ever. Granted this movie won’t win an Oscar but what do you expect from a car movie? And to put everyone in there place, ‘drifting’ is becoming a more and more popular sport, that is one of the reasons why this movie was made in the first place. Plus, I’d say ‘Tokyo Drift’ was the better movie of all three. If you don’t like this movie for the fun factor then go watch your porno, ‘Brokeback Mountain.’ SLAM!