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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

Bee Movie (review)

If your idea of comedy gold is really terrible, awful groaners of puns, look to Bee Movie, which can’t get enough of every obvious and unfunny play on insect words imaginable. Guy bees wonder whether a potential lady friend is a “wasp,” or is she “beeish”? Problem is, none of the bees buzzing around here are particularly beeish. Like those other toon headscratchers Robots and Cars, the bees of Bee Movie are tiny humans who wear black-and-yellow sweaters, and by the time it dispenses with even pretending that the bees aren’t bees — as with “Bee Larry King,” who is Larry King playing himself again — I was about ready to throw up. (Speaking of throwing up… How freakin’ lazy and pointless is this dumb flick? You know how, in the real world, forager bees ingest nectar from flowers and then regurgitate it in the hive, where the workers turn it into honey? The “pollen jocks” here use machine nectar-collection devices: there’s no puking involved at all. This movie is so base that it is utterly blatant about the “let’s build a theme park ride from this bit” stuff that is inevitable in animated movies these days, yet it bypasses a chance for a vomit joke.) Not only are the bees nonsensical, so is the plot, even grading on the fantasy curve. Jerry Seinfeld the bee wants to sue us humans for stealing the fruits of beekind’s hard work, but the movie is unable to create a world in which humans and bees believably coexist in the first place. From this absurd premise spins a story so simplistic only very young child will be amused by it. Seinfeld wrote this thing, and that’s plain too: it’s like one of his standup routines — “What’s with these aerodynamically impossible bees, anyway?” — that goes on waaaay too long.

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MPAA: rated PG for mild suggestive humor, and a brief depiction of smoking

viewed at a semipublic screening with an audience of critics and ordinary moviegoers

official site | IMDb
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