Fly Me to the Moon (review)

My eyes are still burning from this painfully misbegotten attempt to… I don’t know what. Bring back the horrible racial, cultural, and gender stereotypes of the 1960s? Creep out audiences with a depiction of weirdly, disturbingly human-ish flies the likes of which we haven’t seen since the tiny head of that mad scientist squeeked out “Help me!” from atop the body of a fly caught in a spiderweb in 1958? Or was it all just an excuse to deploy what may be the first animated 3D sneeze, complete with flying boogers? Ugh. Three young boy flies who live near Cape Kennedy in 1969 decide they’ll gonna tag along on the moonshot — we know they’re boys because, you know, they don’t have breasts or wear dresses like the girl flies do, and anyway, everyone knows girls aren’t into science stuff. Things get complicated when some evil Soviet flies — who look, in perhaps the movie’s most embarrassing aspect, like propagandistic caricatures — attempt to thwart the mission. As awful as the animation is, the script is worse, full of terrible, senseless puns like one character’s exclamation “Oh my lord of the flies,” which is repeated endlessly, and other plainly nonsensical stuff: why is there a news van from D-CUP TV in a children’s movie?

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