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rare female film critic | by maryann johanson

female gazing at: Kevin Costner


Yesterday’s female-gazing at Gary Cooper made me think: Wow, Gary Cooper really kinda looks like Kevin Costner, doesn’t he? Or, the other way around, actually, since Costner came second.

The thing about Costner is, he really is the embodiment of the evil of Hollywood. Because he has appeared in some seriously shitty movies — hello, Dragonfly and 3000 Miles to Graceland — and in some mostly shitty movies that aren’t quite as bad as their reputations — Waterworld and The Postman and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves — and always, he is so seductive with his perfect combination of aw-shucks-ness and masculinity and vulnerability.

Swing Vote is really quite terrible, and in a better world, Costner’s fuckup wouldn’t be so lovable — it undercuts whatever power the film might have had — but how can you not go weak in the knees at that grin:

And that’s even before you get to the great films he’s been in. I can haz baseball player?

Oh my god, is there a better moment in movies ever than Costner’s speech in Bull Durham about long slow wet deep kisses that last three days? I think not.

And there’s one of the best movies ever, with or without Costner: Dances with Wolves. Which he directed, which layers on the extra “oh, he’s multitalented” thing. A movie so good that James Cameron stole it. A movie in which Costner is delicious even with weird 19th-century facial hair.

I’ll be in my bunk.

I’m posting pictures like these every weekday, of a man who is attractive and desirable, because I like to look, dammit — and because the female gaze doesn’t have to be such serious business.

(If you have a suggestion for someone we should female-gaze at, feel free to email me with a name or a link to a particular photo.)



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