new this week in U.S., Canadian, and U.K. theaters: ‘Despicable Me,’ ‘Predators,’ ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse,’ more

U.S. AND CANADA/OPENING WIDE

Despicable Me: “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!” is my new go-to phrase for when I’m excited about anything.

If you can’t make it to the multiplex, try:

• The Incredibles (2004): the last great animated movie about supervillains (and the superheroes who thwart them).
• 101 Dalmatians (1961): For one of the most memorable villains in animated movie history, Cruella de Vil, whose greatest ambition in life is to wear a puppy-fur coat.
• Mary Poppins (1964): For more adventure with kids and their unlikely guardian, Julie Andrews’ magical nanny.
• A Clockwork Orange (1971): A nasty, riveting anti-hero strictly for adults, Malcolm McDowell’s psychotically violent teenager Alex.

Predators: You can’t see them, except when they have to bleed their glow-in-the-dark green blood. Then you see them.

If you can’t make it to the multiplex, try:

• Predator (1987): Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Adrien Brody; almost everything else is exactly the same.
• Alien vs. Predator (2004): To see how wrong a sequel can go; so laughably bad that it defies explanation,except that director Paul W.S. Anderson is the very definition of hackitude.
• King Kong (2005): For Adrien Brody’s first outing as a sorta action hero, even if he doesn’t quite get to fight the big ape.
• Jurassic Park III (2001): For more running-from-monsters-in-the-jungle adventure — it’s the most pure fun you can have with dinosaurs in the vicinity.
U.S. AND CANADA/OPENING LIMITED

The Kids Are All Right: Two moms, two kids, one sperm donor. Hilarity ensues.

If you can’t make it to the multiplex, try:

• Laurel Canyon (2003): Also from writer-director Lisa Cholodenko, an amiable look at another generation gap in a laid-back Bohemian neighborhood in the Hollywood Hills.
• Far from Heaven (2002): For Julianne Moore as a very different kind of mother, don’t miss Todd Haynes’ gently wicked satire on 1950s suburban conformity.
• American Beauty (1999): For more Annette Bening as a yet more different suburban mom in Sam Mendes’ different yet again satire on suburbia.
• 101 Reykjavík (2001): An offbeat lesbian love story about a triangle in which mother and son both fall for the same woman.

The Girl Who Played with Fire: Sequel to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Still in Swedish, though. Why can’t the Swedes make movies in English, like everyone else? [trailer] review to come

[REC] 2: And what’s wrong with the Spanish making movies in Spanish, too? Don’t these people know how to cater to American audiences? Sheesh. [trailer] review to come

U.K.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse: I’m on Team Not Giving A Shit Which Psychotic Controlling Boyfriend The Idiot Girl Picks.

If you can’t make it to the multiplex, try:

• Hard Candy (2005): For a much better exploraton from director David Slade of adolescent female sexuality.
• 30 Days of Night (2007): For a not-much-better vampire movie from director David Slade.
• Remember Me (2010): Robert Pattinson can actually act, and can actually be romantically appealing, as this just-released drama demonstrates.
• Adventureland (2009): Kristen Stewart like-likes Jesse Eisenberg, who is neither a vampire nor a werewolf, just a sweet lonely nice guy.

Predators: See above.

Leaving: Kristin Scott Thomas in France has an affair with her Spanish builder (Sergi Lopez). I hope the film is nicer to her than I Am Love is to Tilda Swinton’s cheating Italian.