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film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997

Conquest of Space (retro trailer)

What, wait?

Conquest of Space

Had we conquested space in by 1955 and no one told me?

Conquest of Space

Oh, *groan* That’s cheating.

Conquest of Space

Wow, literally a jumping-off place. We’re going to Mars, but you have to vacuum-ski the whole way. All the kids are doing it.

Sometime before the year 2000 AD, this amazing event will take place.

Oh dear…

“The greatest human adventure of all time”?

Conquest of Space

Looks like they mean the greatest white-guy adventure all time, actually.

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