the Onion just makes me cry these days (and other adventures in social networking)

What my followers on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ saw today:
• “Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a gangster treasure hunter…” I smell a movie! (In good journalmalism fashion, the fact that Mafia treasure hunters cannot get anywhere near the damn ship is buried at the end of the piece.) Costa Concordia: Threat of Mafia treasure hunters

• Seriously, the Onion just makes me cry these days. Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital

• This is an establishment that has made it a theme to joke about dying while you eat there. Yet the owner “felt bad for [the victim] because tourists treated his misfortune like a joke. ‘We would never pull a stunt like that,’ he said.” The employees dress like doctors and nurses. This sounds like exactly the sort of stunt it would pull. Man falls ill eating Heart Attack Grill burger

• This guy has balls the size of the Moon. Meet Jayson Blair — $130/hour Life Coach

• The Republic of Gilead inches closer… Virginia ultrasound law: women who want an abortion will be forcibly penetrated for no medical reason

• Rick Santorum is as insane as someone who actually believes that Santa Claus has an impact on the world. Santorum: Satan is Systematically Destroying America

• FBI arrests Three Stooges wannabe terrorist who “never posed a threat to the public,” couldn’t even tell if a gun was working or not, and had no access to instruments of mayhem except via undercover agents. Your antiterrorism tax dollars at work. Security theater of the absurd. FBI arrests man ‘armed’ with plan to blow up Capitol

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