which celebrities would survive which kind of apocalypse?

This Is the End

In honor of This Is the End — in which James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Emma Watson, and others survival the end of the world, at least (no spoilers) initially — let us ponder this:

Which celebrities would survive which kind of apocalypse, and which would doom whom?

In my review of End, I note:

[O]f course James Franco would be one of the celebs to survive the apocalypse. Because what *can’t* the guy do?

So we should probably just assume he’s gonna make it through superflu and alien invasion and the day after tomorrow (and of course he’s already survived ape revolution). But what about, say, Matthew McConaughey? Does his slow-talking full-body drawl mean he’s doomed in the face of even the old-fashioned shuffling zombies, never mind the newfangled speedy ones? Will Ryan Gosling survive global warming because he’s just so totally hot already?

Have fun!

(If you have a suggestion for a Question, feel free to email me.)

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Mon, Jun 10, 2013 10:23am

Helen Mirren will survive practically anything, because Helen Mirren.

Any number of vapid plastic surgery victims will survive the zombie plague due to having insufficient organic parts to become infected.

reply to  RogerBW
Mon, Jun 10, 2013 2:31pm

Oh, God, Joan Rivers will live forever . . .

Mon, Jun 10, 2013 12:56pm

I don’t know, but Michael Jackson and Jimi Hendrix will continue to release collections of their greatest hits.

Mon, Jun 10, 2013 2:55pm

I think Clark Gregg has proven that he can pretty much survive anything.

Paul Wartenberg
reply to  Bluejay
Fri, Jun 14, 2013 12:29pm

If you can survive a Joss Whedon film, then yes you can.

Mon, Jun 10, 2013 11:58pm

Um, well many of us remember that James Franco can’t co-host the Oscars…

Tue, Jun 11, 2013 10:39pm

I’m pretty sure that the Apocalypse will reveal that Arnold Schwarzenegger actually is a cyborg – the organic part ages like any other organic matter, right?

Paul Wartenberg
Fri, Jun 14, 2013 12:29pm

Just caught Reign of Fire on cable a few nights back: McConaughey would at least make it to the final reel versus dragons.