which celebrities would survive which kind of apocalypse?

This Is the End

In honor of This Is the End — in which James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Emma Watson, and others survival the end of the world, at least (no spoilers) initially — let us ponder this:

Which celebrities would survive which kind of apocalypse, and which would doom whom?

In my review of End, I note:

[O]f course James Franco would be one of the celebs to survive the apocalypse. Because what *can’t* the guy do?

So we should probably just assume he’s gonna make it through superflu and alien invasion and the day after tomorrow (and of course he’s already survived ape revolution). But what about, say, Matthew McConaughey? Does his slow-talking full-body drawl mean he’s doomed in the face of even the old-fashioned shuffling zombies, never mind the newfangled speedy ones? Will Ryan Gosling survive global warming because he’s just so totally hot already?

Have fun!

(If you have a suggestion for a Question, feel free to email me.)

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