from Facebook: Her Majesty sics Bond on Trump

Trump: “Bond? He’s an establishment stooge. He got shot off a train by his own partner, what a loser. I like people who *don’t* get shot. And the way he goes after all those women, he’s clearly overcompensating for something. Look at his hands, they’re smaller than mine. I’m taller than him, I’m richer than him. He can get down on his knees and suck my, I’m not going to say it, can you imagine the uproar if I said it? It’s very very vulgar, it’s not nice, I’m not going to say it.

“And the Queen? Look at that face. Who would want a Queen like that? I wouldn’t even give her a one out of 10. And Forbes only has her at, what, $500 million? I’m worth $4 billion, because I say so. I’m just telling it like it is and she gets all upset, she’s bleeding out of her wherever. What a loser. Get her out of here. I’d punch her in the face, but I see someone’s beat me to it.”

(I tried to avoid using big words like “establishment” and “overcompensate,” but failed. Just mentally translate the above to a second-grade vocabulary.)