how not to get on a critic’s shit list

The balls of an email I just received!

We’re a startup specializing in indie production and promotion and were interested in how small films could get reviewed more often. [snip] If you had time to discuss on the phone or just wanted to jot down thoughts in email, that would be great! You can reach me at [phone]. All input is appreciated.

My response in full:

You’re specializing in promotion and you don’t know how to get critics to review your films?

If you’d like to hire me as a consultant, we can talk about a fee.

Here’s a first tip gratis: Don’t approach busy professionals whom you do not know and ask them to call you and give you free advice.

Pro tip for young filmmakers: This is how you get on shit lists.