curated: suddenly I’m a little worried about Guillermo del Toro’s ‘The Shape of Water’…

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, monster fucks the girl. Del Toro’s movies are fun to look at, but the writing is a little too derivative and bland for me to ever feel really invested. However, if anyone can pull off convincingly falling in love with a monster, it’s Sally Hawkins, and Abe was the most interesting part of Hellboy which makes me think that there will be some weirdness to the movie beyond water is the essence of wetness perfume commercial sex. I hope Del Toro makes it work too – I’ve never seen Hawkins turn in a bad performance, and it has been a… challenging mating season for fish person.

Toro. Sounds like a load of bull.
–Roger Moore, Octopussy (1983)

But seriously, folks…

I’m not sure about this, either. Perhaps because my childhood memories of Creature from the Black Lagoon are different from Del Toro’s.

I’ve had this movie in my head since I was 6, not as a story but as an idea. When I saw the creature swimming under Julie Adams [in 1954’s “The Creature from the Black Lagoon”], I thought three things: I thought, “Hubba-hubba.” I thought, “This is the most poetic thing I’ll ever see.” I was overwhelmed by the beauty. And the third thing I thought is, “I hope they end up together.”
–Guillermo del Toro, “Guillermo del Toro’s highly personal monster film ‘The Shape of Water’ speaks to ‘what I feel as an immigrant'”, Los Angeles Times, 090517

Then again the awkward way he handled the relationship between Hellboy and Liz Sherman in Hellboy II hardly gives me much reason for optimism.

Yep, it will be like a Kevin James comedy or a Team Apatow production: The sexy woman really, really wants to sleep with the schlubby guy—or the sea monster.

MaryAnn, could you define agency for me?

Maryann, have you not reviewed this yet? Can’t find it in your archive…