The 90-minute expansion of an Oscar-winning short chooses art over heart, and lacks the emotional conviction of its progenitor.
The animation is fresh, unique, and gorgeous. But we don’t need another tale of a man having exciting adventures while a woman waits around to marry him.
Remember Drive Angry? (I hope you don’t.) This is not that movie. This is Drive Calm. This is Drive Cool.
“When a barbarian feels thirst, it is a thirst for blood.” So does that mean that anyone thirsting to see this movie with all the blood splattering out in 3D is a barbarian, too?
“Ever get the feeling God has too many enemies?” –Crusader Felson (Ron Perlman)
“Being his friend isn’t too easy either.” –Crusader Behmen (Nicolas Cage)
The screenplay is like a transcription of a Dungeons and Dragons session: better hope you make a high saving throw during the wolf attack in Wormwood Forest! The “performances” are like clueless imitations of Monty Python by actors who don’t understand comedy. And those are its good points.
If it were a 30-minute comic episode of *The Twilight Zone,* this ambitious low-budget flick might not have overstayed its welcome, but dragged out to three times that running time, it cannot help but be more miss than hit.
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… (It’s red-band, but I don’t see anything here that warrants it.) Looks like it’s back to the future for a war between humans and “mutants” (who gets to define “mutant,” I wonder…?) in the trenches of World War I — at least, that’s what it looks like … more…
It’s an entry in the ongoing series ‘Starz Inside’ that the cable network Starz likes to label ‘documentary,’ but this one, at least, feels exactly like the kind of promotional filler you find filling up odd scheduling holes on premium movie channels (it’s suspiciously 59 minutes in length).
Don’t forget to buy the Hellboy Happy Meal on your way home.