The Tuxedo (review)

*The Tuxedo,* an action comedy worthy of neither label, is a veritable hotbed of questions like these. Most are along the lines of Why this? and Why that?, with the implication being that no one involved cared much to make a movie that didn’t completely misuse its cast, didn’t utterly abuse all sense of logical storytelling, and didn’t hold in complete contempt the idea that humor might rise above a level appreciated only by 10-year-old kung-fu fanatics suffering from attention deficit disorder.

Moonlight Mile (review)

If you’re lucky enough not to have experienced debilitating grief, *Moonlight Mile* might seem oddly disrespectful in its black humor, but I gotta tell ya, that’s what’s so special about this extraordinary film. It doesn’t tiptoe around like the distant relatives at the funeral who smile those wan, faux sympathetic smiles at you, the one that pretends to understand how you’re feeling and secretly hates that you’ve put them in this awkward spot. *Moonlight Mile* is the smack in the face you wish you could dispense in reply.

Hybrid (review)

During the Great Depression, Iowa farmer Milford Beeghly was a passionate devotee of the hybridization of corn, which made him something of a Dr. Frankenstein of the times. No, seriously. Now, his grandson, Monteith McCollum, in his feature film debut, has created the first agricultural-gothic documentary, a demented little love letter to his grandfather. The … more…

The Criminal (review)

Supposedly, 23-year-old writer/director Julian Simpson’s crime noir was inspired by James Cameron’s The Terminator — I don’t see it myself, except perhaps in theme of the randomness with which violent crime often strikes. But Cameron’s randomness is only illusory — his hidden connections play out satisfyingly in the end. Simpson’s randomness is just haphazard. Mild-mannered … more…

Trapped (review)

Hello, I’m Luis Mandoki, the director of *Trapped.* Don’t worry, I’m not selling a seminar like my buddy Greg. I just want to point out that in fact the original idea here was to cast a sitcom mom and throw this flick up on Lifetime with the title *Oh Dear God No No No No No No No No No Not My Baby No No!* So whatever you think of *Trapped,* if could have been much, much worse.

Igby Goes Down (review)

With his sad, expressive face seemingly fed by an inner wellspring of emotion and wisdom beyond his years, 20-year-old Kieran Culkin is shaping up to be one of the finer true actors of his generation — his only serious competition is Jake Gyllenhaal. But even Culkin’s intensely mordant performance here can’t make this pointless and … more…

Barbershop (review)

Thing No. 3,276,943 I Never Thought I’d Say: Ice Cube is adorable. If he were to consider a permanent turn away from the likes of Ghosts of Mars‘s Desolation Williams, I’d have no problem with that. Here, he’s Ordinary Joe Calvin Palmer, a sweetly befuddled guy with a nice wife and a baby on the … more…

The Banger Sisters (review)

Fast forward Almost Famous‘s groupie “band aids” 30 years, and you end up with Suzette, still a brash, tattooed party gal living from moment to moment, and Lavinia, now a respectable suburban mom and wife to an aspiring politician. Their former lives of sex — lots of sex — drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll catch … more…

Heartbreak Hospital (review)

Oh, dear. Somebody’s seen Nurse Betty too many times and thought he could do better. Ruedi Gerber’s “satire” on soap operas, the rabidness of their fans, and the insecurities of actors tries to make a desperately strained point about the line between healthy fantasy and unhealthy obsession, but it’s only desperately unfunny when it tries … more…