Month: April 2003

But it’s gotta be a parody, right? I mean, all horror movies are pretty much parodies of themselves by now, and this is gonna turn out to be a sly and subtle commentary on our expectations for horror films and will bring us some enlightenment about the kind of demented people who say things bloody murder onscreen can be ‘really really gross and cool.’

In our hyperkinetic entertainment environment, where fast and loud and obvious is never fast, loud, or obvious enough, Neil Jordan’s languorous *The Good Thief* is even more decadently delightful than it might otherwise be. Not that there’s anything necessarily inherently wrong with having your ears assaulted and your heart pounding while you hover on the edge of your seat… but too much of it can be exhausting.

There are enough Douglases onscreen here — Michael (One Night at McCool’s), dad Kirk as his dad, son Cameron as his son, mom Diana (Planes, Trains and Automobiles) as his mom — that it’s easy to imagine we’re getting the inside scoop on the real-life Douglas soap opera. We’re not, but Jesse Wigutow’s fictional screenplay … more…

As slick and sharp as an Armani suit, this scam of a flick is so in love with the art of the con that it forgets to make us care about the con artists. Still, there’s a certain joy to be had in watching fine artists at work. Wiseass grifter Jake Vig (cool, assured Edward … more…

It’s bitingly ironic and casts a cold, contemptuous eye on things like hypocrisy and racism and cruelty, and the unknown kid actors are terrific and the adult cast — pretty big names, all of them — are having a blast, and you know, you could sneak in without a kid and still have a good time even if you haven’t read the book and had never even heard of it and have to slink down in your seat feeling really old and out of touch with what the kids are into today.

Ancient Chinese secret, huh? A Tibetan monk (force-of-nature Chow Yun-Fat: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) charged with protecting a scroll with deadly powers takes on a streetwise pickpocket (appealing doofus Seann William Scott: Evolution) as his apprentice on the same day the ex-Nazi (a scenery-chewing Karel Roden: 15 Minutes) who needs the scroll to take over … more…

This coming Monday will be the 91st anniversary of the sinking of the *Titanic,* and if that reminder doesn’t cause a little frisson of excitement or ghostly goosebumps, then just stop reading now, because *Ghosts of the Abyss* is not for you. For me, the *Titanic* was always one of those terrible, fascinating moments in history — it obsessed me as a kid. Clive Cussler’s *Raise the Titanic!*? Classic. Robert Ballard, who found the ship’s resting grounds in 1985? Hero. Do I still sob my way through Jack and Rose’s journey on the ship, even after umpteen viewings? You bet.

The nice, intelligent, overachieving high schoolers don’t usually get their turn on the big screen — punishment for ruining the grade curve, maybe — so this black comedy from first-time director Justin Lin is more than welcome, even if it’s not entirely successful. Did I say “nice”? In their downtime between running the school paper, … more…

I thought I had given up trying to understand the appeal of The Adam Sandler Movie(TM), and then along comes something so diametrically opposite of the typical ASM and yet so similarly misbegotten that it simply demands explanation. Though I’m certain I’ll be unable to provide it for myself. Instead of his usual crude, lewd … more…