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maryann johanson | watching movies at home

Bridezillas: The Complete 1st Season (review)

You almost have to feel sorry for the hapless grooms just barely depicted in this horrendously retrograde reality series about the idiots that (some) women turn into while planning their weddings. But the men are rather far down the lists of things to be disturbed and/or nauseated by here — they chose to throw their lots in with these shallow, materialistic harpies, very few of whom actually seem interested in being married, merely in getting married and in throwing the most disgustingly, outrageously expensive weddings humanity has ever seen. If the thought of people spending a quarter of a million dollars on a freakin’ party isn’t enough to turn your stomach, there is, for example, the sickly syrupiness of one woman, gettin’ hitched for the first time at 43 but who, we are reminded in every single one of the eight episodes here, has been dreaming of and planning her wedding since she was seven years old. We don’t even glimpse her groom till several episodes in, but then, he is but a mere pawn in his intended’s vast, mad scheme to be a princess for a day. Yeah, more than one of these women uses the dread word “princess,” even the ones who are high-powered stockbrokers, and you’ll want to smack every damn one of them for throwing the concept of feminism back about half a century. (Only one couple is mildly interesting, if only by comparison — he’s taking care of many of the advance preparations while he waits for his long-distance love to arrive from Japan.) And these bridezillas are bad for the image of New Yorkers, too: the series focuses on Manhattan brides, because apparently there were still a few people left in the world who didn’t misbelieve that every New Yorker is a rich moron with more money than sense. The “bonuses” are an advertistment for Bridezillas: Season Three and footage from the terrifying “Real Brides Cake Dive Event.”

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MPAA: not rated

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