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Eat Our Dust The first human being to walk on Mars doesn’t know it yet, but she is gonna see this movie on a school trip to a science museum and have her little eight-year-old mind blown. And the idea of Mars is gonna lodge itself in her head so that the only way she … more…
Hellza Poppins With full and uncomfortable knowledge the kind of crap that passes for children’s entertainment these days, I figured I was in for an excruciating time of it when Nanny McPhee opened with Colin Firth — Mr. Darcy himself! — taking a pratfall down a flight of stairs. I became further afeared when the … more…
The Lure of Lore So, we have a new retelling of a medieval legend from director Kevin Reynolds, who brought us the supremely goofy Kevin Costner-riffic Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (not the mention the dreadful The Count of Monte Cristo as well as Waterworld, which isn’t as bad as its reputation would lead you … more…
To say that this poignant, hilarious tale of a tender-tough gay Irishman is Neil Jordan’s (The Good Thief) most lighthearted film to date is, admittedly, akin to calling the Troubles the nicest internecine war the Irish have ever gotten themselves into. But there we are: the story of flamboyant Patrick, who’s been out since before … more…
How many times can we be confronted with the iconography of organized genocide before it stops feeling like a kick in the gut? I guess it’s at least one more than whatever number this desolate Hungarian film represents, because here again are the cattle cars, the dead-eyed people, the piles of abandoned luggage, the relentless … more…
Not So Grimm There’s no question that there’s something whacked-out creepy about the computer-generated animation that drives Hoodwinked, the new hey-we’re-totally-not-Shrek–but-man-that-was-a-cool-flick-eh? feature-length cartoon. There’s a plastic sheen to the skin of the human characters and an almost obscene bulging to their enormous eyes that is, I imagine, exactly like what Precious Moments figurines would look … more…
Ah, Venice So how does a hot young heterosexual actor follow up an über convincing performance as a tormented gay cowboy? By playing the world’s greatest (straight) lover, of course. Happily, Heath Ledger’s latest move isn’t just career-smart but a whole lotta fun for the audience, too. He tops a glorious year stuffed with intriguing … more…
Gay? Not Even Mildly Content Is there a real place called Brokeback Mountain? Or did Annie Proulx make it up? (Rhetorical — don’t deluge me with emails about the geography of the Western states.) I wonder, cuz the name so perfectly evokes misery and pain and loneliness and all those other tragically romantic heartbreaky emotions … more…
Bad Things Happen When You Leave the City Well, there goes my dream of driving across Australia. I used to think, Hey, if I’m ever gonna go to all the expense of traveling to the opposite side of the planet, and spend 24 hours on a plane to get there, I’m not gonna go for … more…
Mother Earth weeps at the environment-ravaging fecundity of Tom and Kate Baker (Steve Martin: Bringing Down the House and Bonnie Hunt: Monsters, Inc.), with their 12 kids and sprawling suburban lifestyle, and now you can weep, too. For their second outing as a supposedly all-American family is a cinematic Bataan death march of pratfalls, kicks … more…
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