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I tell ya, if ‘reality TV’ was like this, I’d actually watch it. Let’s put some real bite into *Survivor.* If some unknown, untalented schmuck wants to be an instant celebrity *and* take home a million bucks, he should have to gnaw his own foot off and put a bullet in some other fame-whore first.
The annual holiday assault has arrived, and don’t think “assault” isn’t the right word; this is but the first dementedly wrongheaded satire on family and togetherness we’re in for this season. Ben Affleck (Jersey Girl) gets whacked in the noggin with a snow shovel and, in this neurologically altered state, decides to hire the awful … more…
It tries so hard to be wicked, does this “sexy” detective series, one of the 18 billion variations on the cop show producer Stephen J. Cannell pumped out during the 1970s, 80s, and 90s. Cannell’s series almost invariably did well in ratings game — this one ran for eight season from 1991 to ’98, first … more…
Whites, blacks, men, women, gays, straights: No one escapes the razor wit of producer-star Keenan Ivory Wayans’s (White Chicks) sketch comedy show, still pertinent and relevant nearly a decade and a half later. Groundbreaking not just for its interracial cast but for its truly integrated attitude, these 22-minute episodes, which feel longer than they are, … more…
Chances are you grew up with Sweetknuckle Junction, the beloved children’s television show, and spent happy times with Junction Jack the train engineer and singing Dottie Sunshine, with Rochester Rabbit and Count Blah. Or maybe not, since the show exists only in the demented, crude, very funny world of Greg the Bunny, which should probably … more…
Horror films have their own special guidelines when it comes to plausibility: basically, there aren’t any. And the Japanese flick *Ju-on: The Grudge,* which had a limited American release earlier this year, takes even greater liberties in the credibility area than most. Fortunately, writer/director Takashi Shimizu has enough tricks up his sleeve to make you forget that he’s not making one whit of sense. Logic is never a strong deciding factor, anyway, when you’re looking for a flick to give you goosebumps, which this one does, if only in moderate measure. Plus, creepy as it sporadically is, you can poke fun at it, too: The rage is coming from inside the house!
I mean, who, precisely, said you couldn’t have a zombie romantic comedy? Why can’t the male lead express his undying devotion for his ladylove by bashing dead people in the head with a cricket bat?
Quick: How long did Ellen DeGeneres’ sitcom last? Four episodes? Ten? Maybe it eeked out a full season? Get this: Ellen, one of the blandest, most generic sitcoms in recent memory, endured for five years and one hundred episodes — there’s a hole in your pop-culture memory only because the series, or at least the … more…
It’s hard to conceive of the alternate universe in which “reality TV” hit The Apprentice approaches actual reality. Like a Mafia don drunk on his own power, Donald Trump — holding court from a would-be intimidating oversize executive chair in an underlit conference room and, hand to God, referring to himself as “The Donald” — … more…
That’s the kind of flick *Cellular* is: goofily obvious when it isn’t unexpectedly exciting. It’s one of those movies that succeeds partly by not being anywhere near as bad as you were expecting it to be — by being, really, not so bad at all, much to one’s shocked surprise. Seriously, I was anticipating two hours of that annoyingly pseudo-hip Elvis Costello-ish guy from the TV commercials who wanders around saying ‘Can you hear me now?’ into his cell phone — and why o why won’t someone kidnap *him*? — and instead the goofily obvious stuff is more than made up for by the suspense and the humor.
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