G.I. Joe: Retaliation (review)

You get the G.I. Joes for Christmas. Hooray! You make them cross the demilitarized zone between the china cabinet and the DVDs near the TV to rescue Barbie. *pawft pawft pawft pawft* — enemy fire.

Total Recall (review)

Len Underworld Wiseman’s least hacktackular movie yet, which isn’t to say that it’s quality entertainment, but it is some solid B-grade processed-cheese-product movie junk food.