reviews

This was shoved under the front door of Flick Filosopher World Headquarters, the 4-page document encased in a manila envelope upon which the red stamped ‘Top Secret Eyes Only LXG’ had been crossed out in purple marker, and hand-printed neatly under it, in blue Flair pen, ‘birthday card for JB — please sign and return to FM ASAP’ had also been crossed out in the same purple marker, and under *that* in a hasty scrawl in what could have been the same hand as the blue Flair was written ‘The truth is in here. Spread the word. — FM.’ So I’m spreading the word, though I obviously cannot vouch for the authenticity of anything you’re about to read.

There was this great TV commercial for British Airways a few years back, in which a guy wakes up in the morning, and the bed is empty beside him, and the streets of London are empty, and offices and shops are deserted, and he runs around the abandoned city looking for someone, anyone, and finally he yells, ‘Where is everybody?!,’ his desperate voice echoing through the uninhabited streets. The idea was that hey, airfares are so cheap, *everyone* took off for somewhere else.

Somewhere in the very progressive Netherlands, three catty sisters get a bombshell dropped on them by their gay brother: He’s getting married. To a girl. As their own mother calls the sisters “selfish bitches,” and they clearly are, it’s no surprise that it’s not their brother’s well-being that concerns them… it’s the fact that he … more…

Topless female boxing. There you go. This bizarre, would-be literary exploration of incestuous father-daughter attraction, anger management, and women beating the crap out of each other while their particulars flap in the wind is actually nowhere near as salacious as it sounds but nowhere near as interesting as it could have been, either. Troubled teen … more…

Joni Mitchell is “a true poet,” says New York Times music critic Stephen Holden, and this lovely documentary is a beautifully poetic exploration of her unconventional life and uncommon career. Narrated by Mitchell friends and fellow musicians including David Crosby and Graham Nash, her former agent David Geffen, and Mitchell herself, this evocative montage of … more…

It’s Ms. Woods Goes to Washington as the superchipper Barbie-with-a-brain and her pink wardrobe head to the nation’s capital for some fun with law and politics. It can’t hope to match the original for sheer surprise — who’d have thunk fashion and the judicial system could play so nicely together? — but it tries harder … more…

You know what? I’m not even going to complain that this kind of stuff is inappropriate for kids and what is it doing in what is basically a children’s film, cuz honestly, it’s all gonna go right over their head, except for the naked butt cheek, of course, but kids think that’s pretty funny particularly if a dog was involved in that teeth-to-the-butt-rips-the-pants kind of way, as is the case here.