reviews

Take two of the most vapid, most unbearably unwatchable young actors working today — Matthew Lillard (Wing Commander) and Shannon Elizabeth (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) — and lock them in haunted glass house. Add heavy-metal-album-cover imagery: a ghost with spikes through his undead head, the specter of large-breasted chick slashed all over her … more…

The simian line is a crease in the hand of rare individuals that palm readers interpret to mean the bearer too easily confuses the needs of the heart and the demands of the head. Katherine (Lynn Redgrave: All I Wanna Do), a middle-aged New Jersey real-estate broker, bears this line… or so fortune teller Arnita … more…

Novocaine is nothing if not an object lesson for men on keeping it in their pants. Frank Sangster, DDS (Steve Martin: Bowfinger), seemingly has it all: successful dental practice, the love of a beautiful woman — his hygienist, Jean (Laura Dern: Jurassic Park III). But a late-night appointment with a gal with Trouble written all … more…

Oh, I was positively aquiver with anticipation in the days leading up to the advance screening of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone I attended. Like a kid waiting for Christmas morning, I was — the day couldn’t come soon enough. And now, Friday can’t come soon enough: I’m going again on opening night. I’m glad I bought those tickets two weeks ago.

You know what Shallow Hal is? Shallow Hal is the gorgeous, popular guy in high school every insecure, self-conscious, too fat/too skinny/too tall/too short/too plain girl has a crush on. The guy who, suddenly sweet and sensitive, reveals his secret crush on Miss Hopelessly Unpopular right in the middle of the cafeteria, right in front of all his friends, and asks her out, and she — daring to hope — said Yes… and then he laughs in her face. And his friends laugh too. And she’s mortified, and kicks herself mentally for believing him even for a second.

Scratch the surface, and Amelie (written by Jeunet and Guillaume Laurant) is the same basic boy-meets-girl story Hollywood has been telling us for years — this may be the least French French movie I’ve ever seen. But it’s the style in which that ordinary story is presented — Jeunet’s wry, fantastical spirit tickles your intellectual funny bone; the film is breezy, witty, with a dose of snideness to save it from saccharine — that makes Amelie so very delightful.

Based on the best-selling Book of Revelation, 1976’s The Omen is one spooky flick. Preposterous, sure. But as Apocalyptic religious fantasy, it’s far more chills-inducing than, say, the hilariously earnest The Omega Coda or even the convoluted and incomprehensible source material itself. Yup, this is one example of the movie that turned out better than the book.