reviews

You know all that prattling on I’ve done about characters, and how lack of attention to them can make for a pretty boring flick? Well, whaddaya know: ‘Breakdown’ couldn’t give two figs for characterization, and it doesn’t matter.

Hah! You thought I was going to discuss whether Anne Heche, world-renowned lesbian, can possibly convince the world she’s hot for sensitive macho man Harrison Ford. Well, she can — she and Ford send some nice sparks flying. The problem is, the movie won’t let those sparks ignite.

If I’d known beforehand that Ben Stiller directed The Cable Guy, I might have been more excited by the prospect of seeing it. And I’d have been all the more disappointed in the end.

Vegas Vacation Boy, I thought Trainspotting was enough to put me off drugs forever. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas puts Trainspotting to shame when it comes to exposing the glamorous drug culture: the daily vomiting, the wallowing in your own filth, the insane paranoia, the sickening hallucinations, the waking up with a lizard tail … more…

At first glance, it would seem to offer the perfect role for Paxton: that of a sturdy, all-American kinda man not too strung out on testosterone. But A Bright Shining Lie rarely lets Paxton express in action the passion he keeps talking about.

Godzilla, cheesy as it is, is more like Spam — some of the parts you recognize as edible in other, more natural forms, but you probably don’t want to know where the other ingredients came from. And like Spam, Godzilla kinda leaves a funny coppery taste in your mouth.

The world needs more flicks like Mouse Hunt — well, my world does, anyway. It’s nasty, wacky, Tim-Burton weird, and funny as hell.

Can men and women ever be ‘just friends’? What actually constitutes virginity? Is Star Wars racist, or does the presence of Lando Calrissian belie that? These questions are important to those of us under 30, and we take the search for answers seriously…