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The Expendables 2 (review)

What this dumb movie wants you to find absolutely hilarious is random 80s action heroes — this flick is lousy with ’em — now puffy with age and sporting embarrasingly bad dye jobs popping up in deus ex actioner situations…

Drive Angry 3D (review)

I’d like to call Drive Angry Ghost Rider 2: Ghost Driver, except that a sequel to Cage’s previous awful example of cinematic demonic road rage is, in fact, already in production, for our sins. I might better call it Con Air Goes to Hell, because of the beautiful — and by beautiful, I mean, of course, vile and reprehensible — way it picks up the gauntlet thrown down by that violently misogynist film and slaps that gauntlet right at the viewer. In 3D!

The Mechanic (review)

The auteur who gave us Con Air, The General’s Daughter, and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is back, extending his cinema terrible of violent, unthinking nihilism and brutal, pointless action. Oh, and misogyny for fun. Hoorah!