Long rumored — long threatened? — writer-director-producer-star Flatley’s self-financed pabulum opus is baffling and hilariously awful. It exists only because an incredibly rich man has money to burn.
I have a terrible suspicion that filmmaker Tom Six would be delighted to learn that someone in the real world had tried to create a human centipede.
If you guessed that this is a cheap pre-Jurassic World cash-in, congratulations: you are smarter than this padded-out pile of cut-rate cinematic junk.
‘Bad Shakespeare,’ one badass notes with a sad shake of his head at a particularly cheesy revelation about the other badass standing in front of him, and that’s the moment when a little bell in my head went off: Bingo.
Made of spoilers. Don’t read until you’ve seen the episode.
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… Any trailer that starts with “They are the world’s greatest mercenaries…” had better turn into a parody at some point. I kept waiting for that to happen, and even as it appears to turn into a convention of washed-up action heroes — Dolph Lundgren? Dolph Lundgren is … more…
Tons of spoilers! Don’t read unless you’ve seen the episode!