The Magnificent Seven movie review: a dusty, dry husk of a movie
Humorless, rote, clichéd, and entirely unsurprising. Antoine Fuqua attempts to recapture old Hollywood magic — and fails — rather than create his own.
Harvey Korman
The Hangover Part III review: get pissed
It’s like they realized they never should have made a sequel, so for Part III, they didn’t even bother to make a Hangover movie at all…
Johnny English Reborn (review)
Shockingly, this is the rare sequel that improves on the original. Granted, that wasn’t hard, in this case, but neither is saying this damning with faint praise.
The Star Wars Holiday Special (review)
Here’s what you have to do in order to survive *The Star Wars Holiday Special*: Don’t watch it. If you must, then 1) Have alcohol or some other inebriating substance close to hand — a rock to bang against your skull will do in a pinch. And 2) Remember that your tender 10-year-old self probably witnessed this atrocity the one time it aired on TV to unsuspecting, nay, *eager* audiences, and suffered such psychological trauma that your brain blocked off the memory in order to spare you further harm; know that you may suddenly experience violent flashbacks to Christmas 1978 as that mental wound is viciously reopened.
