The romance lacks chemistry, and the villain lacks bite. It seems embarrassed to be a musical, failing to embrace the necessary ineffable daydreaminess. Somehow even more cartoonish as live-action.
The Tim Burton-est movie in a long while, not merely because it embodies all those wonderfully weird and humanist Burton attitudes but also because only Burton would think to make a stop-motion film in glorious, creamy, black-and-white.
Hoorah for Tim Burton and the new nadir of narcissistic awfulness he achieves here. Dark Shadows dares to be nothing but the wisp of its own conceit.