The franchise finally overstays its welcome with this cacophony of CGI spectacle, a contrived and confusing plot, and a newly cruel and stupid Jack Sparrow.
There’s stuff in this spy thriller that’s fresh, and lots that’s familiar, but Noomi Rapace using her brains and brawn to fight bad guys is a genuine thrill.
Smaug is a magnificent cinematic creation… but there’s no good reason it takes so damn long to get to him.
Orlando Bloom as a creepy obsessive stalkerish doctor. The bad haircut shoulda been a giveaway.
Mathematician, architect, sculptor, writer, scientist, inventor, action hero: Leonardo is James Bond and Q all in one no doubt devastatingly handsome package.
It is leaden where it should be light. It is graceless and charmless. It reels from the painful banter. It is the epitome of empty soulless corporate filmmaking.
In 3D. Just like Alexandre Dumas intended.
I’ve listened to my fellow critics snarking on the film’s many many faults and I’ve laughed, but only at myself, because they’re not wrong and yet still it doesn’t change the fact that I really had a lot of fun with this movie.
The Boys of The Lord of the Rings Week continues…
You will definitely be hearing more about this Luke Evans guy. When I saw him in Tamara Drewe, wherein he plays the hunky gardener, I just about swooned.