Ostensibly a movie in the same way that a Victorian folly is ostensibly a Japanese temple or a medieval castle. That is: not at all. Like a themed high-school prom from 1994, and an accidental horror.
“The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.”
I might pick the end of The Usual Suspects. Or the “you’re getting on that plane” bit in Casablanca. Or… Well, there’s a lot of them, probably. It would be tough to pick a single one…
Oh, thank the gods. Thank crazy Walt Disney’s head in a cryogenic freezer. Thank the army of producers and FX geeks and writers and cast and studio execs and focus-group gurus and everyone else who made this prepackaged, ready-for-synergy-marketing, lowest-common-denominator junk cinema the most cheesalicious, escape-a-riffic it could be.
Is it ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ or ‘Highlander 2: The Quickening’?
It hasn’t been a great year for film — I’m not the first critic you’ve heard say this. I had some very powerful and very entertaining experiences at the movies this year, but not as many as in other years, and few of those experiences coincided with the films that Hollywood wants us to think … more…
Forget that this is based on a ride at Disney World, and a pretty sorry one, at that — know that it’s a wonderfully exhausting, refreshingly unironic, delightfully old-fashioned swashbuckler.