Limp and lifeless, this overlong and undercooked would-be blockbuster cannot focus on either the hard-edged realities or the magical mysteries it toys with.
What with all the Pirates of the Caribbean folks involved here, I wasn’t expecting this to be so serious…
“Does this face look like I’ve been to the Fountain of Youth?” –Captain Teague (Keith Richards), and more
I’ve listened to my fellow critics snarking on the film’s many many faults and I’ve laughed, but only at myself, because they’re not wrong and yet still it doesn’t change the fact that I really had a lot of fun with this movie.
Is it ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ or ‘Highlander 2: The Quickening’?